James Bond may not drink beer, but who wants to party with him anyway? He’d probably just end up shooting up the place and stealing all the women. But if Bond…James Bond…did crack a cold one every now and again, you can bet he’d be one sneaky SOB about it.

And now you can too.   

Oh my God (or as the Noregians say, “Å, Herregud!”)! Is that an alcoholic beverage, or a cool, refreshing Coca-Cola? What has science done?

Well me, I’m glad you (I) asked that. You (I) see, hundreds of years of unmitigated scientific growth has led humanity to the current pinnacle of technological advancement: soda can beer sleeves. Thanks to the collective efforts of the world’s best and brightest scientists, we now know that it is entirely possible to cover up our beer cans with the outer sleeves of soda cans, and are thus able to enjoy our icy cold alcoholic refreshments wherever the hell we damn please—be it the beach, the golf course, the DMV, the back of a police car, space, or even in the comfort of our own bathrooms.

Now despite everything I just said about science and junk, the process is simple. Really simple. So simple, in fact, that it’s actually very difficult. In a simple kind of way. Check it out in the above video accompanied with bitchin’ spy music.

The post Soda Can Beer Sleeves: Drink Like a Secret Agent appeared first on The Campus Companion Party Lab.

It’s a fact of life: there are probably a lot of people out there who are trying to get their hands on your alcohol. Even if you don’t know it, they are. Swindlers, thieves and saboteurs will, at some point, show their true faces when they try and steal your stash. While in college, these potential liquor bandits include, but are not limited to (ranked from least to most likely to swipe your booze):

• Your friends
• Good roommates who get drunk and run out of alcohol
• Your neighbors
• That kid from Econ that came over to study
• Friends of friends
• The drug dealer down the hall
• Bad roommates
• Resident advisors

Our  point is that there are plenty of plunderers in your midsts, and it would be prudent to hide your alcohol. We traveled to the darkest corners of the internet and back, and we have returned to share with you the best ways of hiding your liquor. 

A Flask Tucked Neatly Into A Carved-Out Book:

Let’s be honest. Nobody is going to notice if your Stats book hasn’t left your bookshelf all semester, and they’ll be even less inclined to pull it off the shelf and flip through it inquisitively.  Rather than spending $150 on a fresh textbook to conceal your stash, head down to the local used bookstore and find an outdated textbook. Normally we’d never suggest defiling books, but who’s really gonna miss an outdated textbook? Carve it up using any one of these thorough guides (1, 2, 3, 4). God bless the internet. 

In a Mouthwash Container:

This is a trick that we originally suggested for sneaking liquor onto a Cruise Ship. Lucky for you, it’s just as applicable to dorm life trickery. The process is simple:

• Empty out a blue Listerine mouthwash bottle
• Fill your bottle up with vodka. 
• Add three drops of blue food coloring and one drop of green food coloring

On Your Body:

If you go this route there exist many obvious choices, flask being the most popular. Strategically placed “nips”, also known as airplane bottles can work well too. You can even put alcohol in your CamelBak.

Campus Police have probably wised up to almost all of these options, however, and they probably won’t do you much good. 

You would be amazed how many products exist that allow you to hide booze in your clothes and on your body. You’ve got: sandals bras, and fake beer bellies to name just a few. If you’re at a party that you expect to be broken up, it can’t hurt to employ one or some of these products/tactics to ensure you won’t get busted.  These also double as pretty neat party tricks. In fact, they might even help you get laid. 

In Plain Sight, or, The Industrial Water Cooler Trick:

There’s no easier way to hide your booze than in plain sight. Sounds crazy, I know. I thought it was too. Until my friend told me about why every party needs an industrial water cooler. This will seriously revolutionize the way you drink, and definitely ensure nobody will steal your precious nectar ever again.  

The “Fuck It” Approach:

I don’t reccomend this one if you want to keep your booze.  

The post 5 Funny, Creative and Ingenious Ways To Hide Your Alcohol appeared first on The Campus Companion Party Lab.

Cruises are very popular among the college crowd, and come spring break college students around the country are asking themselves the same question….

“How do I sneak liquor onto a cruise ship?”

Well folks, we have an answer to your question. Here is how you can sneak liquor onto your cruise and party without going broke. 

Simply pour your vodka in an empty blue Listerine bottle, add 3 drops of blue food coloring and 1 drop of green. If it is a green Listerine bottle add 2 drops of green coloring. You now have a 5th of vodka to use for your beverages!!! If you drink a dark liquor, like whiskey, simply use the white Listerine bottles!

THEY CAUGHT ON…

Obviously the cruise lines aren’t stupid, and they will eventually catch on to this trick if they already haven’t. That’s why the guy in the next video exists… He goes above and beyond in his dedication to affordable cruise drinking. Take a look. 

Have you found any creative ways of smuggling liquor onto a cruise?

The post How to Sneak Liquor Onto a Cruise Ship appeared first on The Campus Companion Party Lab.

He entered our dorm  while awkwardly lugging a huge industrial water cooler. How he managed to convince the front desk to let him bring it in is still a mystery to me. I guess people are wary of fucking with people who enjoy cold fresh water. I mean, they don’t even allow rice cookers, but somehow he got a water cooler into our dorm.

Either way, the other roommates in the suite had the same shocked expression on their faces as I did. An expression that said… “Great, we got stuck with this fucking kid. He’s probably an anal retentive bubble boy who is going to make us clean every day. 

He pushed the water cooler up against the wall, and went back down to finish bringing his stuff up. For the most part, the other roommates and I avoided him while he unpacked, but night soon arrived and we all found ourselves congregating in the common room for our first night of college. 

We were shooting the shit for about 30 minutes, and we were all having a good time. Well into the conversation my roommate went back to our room and emerged with a huge drum of water. He lifted it up carefully and placed it upright in the cooler. We all watched somewhat weirded out. It didn’t phase our roommate. He went to the kitchen grabbed a bunch of cups, and returned to the circle of couches where we were talking. 

What he did next I’ll never forget. He filled up on of the cups, took a quick sip of one and let out a satisfied breath. 

He handed me the cup, and said in an extremely serious tone… “You will remember me forever… Drink Up.” 

The “water” in the water cooler was pure vodka, and for the rest of the night we were sipping from that cooler like alcoholic gerbils. 

Forget about trying to sneak kegs into the dorm. For the next year we walked right past the front desk carrying 5 gallon drums of vodka without them thinking anything of it.  Can you blame them? Who could really conceive of a 5 gallon drum of vodka…

ANYWAYS… That water cooler stayed with us all four years of college, and helped us throw some of the best college parties on the planet. In fact, it even kept us from getting in trouble with the cops several times. Once again, who would think to look for alcohol in an industrial water cooler. Not the cops. 

This is why every college student who plans on having parties should get an industrial water cooler. 

Now you will remember ME (or this article) forever. 

The post Why Every Party Should Have an Industrial Water Cooler appeared first on The Campus Companion Party Lab.

As describe by the inventor of this magnificent device…

The Emergency Party Button began as a novelty idea that has become the focus of every event that goes on in our home. A big red button is, by human nature, an object of compulsion. If you see it, you are overcome with the desire to push it. But what happens when you do?

They don’t mass produce this Emergency Party Button , but they should. It’s definitely a novelty item, but I’m sure frat houses all of the country would be clamoring to get their hands on one of these.

Think about it. One second the house is completely normal, the next it’s like you’ve been transported to 1980′s New York, and you just took 5 shots in quick succession. 

Also, this device holds a lot of potential for those trying to avoid getting caught by the cops throwing a party (aka, college students). All you have to do is slap your hand down on that little red button, and voila, you’re back in the real world. 

The post The Emergency Party Button appeared first on The Campus Companion Party Lab.

 Make sure to comment with your own party rules below, or send us a picture of your party rules!

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The post Here are Suzanne’s Party Rules – What are Yours? appeared first on The Campus Companion Party Lab.

This diagram is the perfect solution for when you want to drink but it is either illegal or otherwise socially unacceptable. Why should you have to stay sober at the movie theater huh?? 

The post How to Hide Your Beer in a Soft Drink Cup [Diagram] appeared first on The Campus Companion Party Lab.

It is no surprise that students love to smoke in the dorms, and such is the necessity for the popcorn trick . No matter how strict the policy is, or how many close calls one has had; people are going to light up in their rooms. Most RA’s are aware of this, and while some may play dumb, others will not be so lenient. I’ve known a few to go out of their way to catch students smoking.

For this reason, safety first should be your motto.  There is nothing worse than a loud knock on the door in the middle of your session. But, sometimes, luck is not on our side.  Maybe you came back fucked up at 4 am and decided it would be a good idea to smoke without opening the windows (you would not be the first) or a cruel gust of wind has blown the smoke back into your room. Lets not beat around the bush here, folks – The alarm is blaring and you can hear the fire engines in the distance – You are FUCKED!

Or are you? This is the perfect time to implement “The Popcorn Trick”. Simply overcook your popcorn until there is a smoking, burnt, buttery bomb festering in your microwave. Because what it comes down to is this – People are going to think you are an idiot no matter what you do. Your fate is in your own hands. So, are you the idiot who:

GOT CAUGHT SMOKING IN THE DORMS

OR

THE GUY WHO DOESN”T KNOW HOW TO COOK POPCORN (snicker, snicker, snicker)

It is truly as simple as it sounds. Yes, even if you are high and freaking out, you should be able to do it. If you lack confidence – I don’t know – practice it at your friend’s apartment or something. Run to your cabinet, grab some Orville Redenbacher and toss that baby in the microwave for 10 or 15 minutes – Enough time to really burn it to a crisp. Run out the door with the rest of the dorm residents and remember to add, “Buy a Vaporizer” to your to-do list.

NOTE:

For those that don’t routinely have popcorn in their room the “popcorn trick” also works well with….

Dirty Shoes

Say you were trying to dry them off because they were wet. People will definitely question how you made it to college, but they won’t even think about whether your excuse is fake. It’s too stupid to be fake. 

Eggs

Say you were just trying to cook a snack, and lost track of time. Don’t do this one unless you really want your roommates to hate you. It smells like death for about a week.  

Comment below to include anything you’ve burnt in the microwave that you think could serve as a guise for smoking in the dorms. 

The post The Popcorn Trick – Avoid Getting Caught Smoking in the Dorms appeared first on The Campus Companion Party Lab.

Intro: How Parties Get Busted

Police do not have magical nodes that detect underage drinking and/or any other act of questionable legality.  If you assumed they did, then you have probably never thought about it .  What police can detect is any loud or obtrusive noise.  It is for this reason that parties get busted.  My tip?  Minimize your party’s noise outside your house.  Here’s how:

Always Remember The Golden Rule Of Partying:

The same way that professors rarely fail students whose names they know, your neighbors will rarely feel inclined to call the police and complain about your noise if they too know your name. Establishing good relationships with your neighbors is the golden rule to follow when trying to avoid getting busted. 

 Be a Hoss

People at parties are rarely the portraits of proper etiquette.  They assume that upon paying the cover they have free reign to do what they want and go where they please.  As the host, do not be afraid or meek in the exertion of your hostly powers.  If there are too many people outside, or the few that are there are being to loud, then you best be a HOSS and tell them outright to go inside or shut the hell up.  If they refuse, refer to  Article I : Section V : Title II of the party constitution and kick their asses out.  One voice might not be so loud, but 28 added up are enough to piss off your neighbors.  Just remember that you are the boss and you should have no problem.

Strategically Position Speakers

Believe it or not, you can target sound.  The key to good speaker position is to face them in a direction so that the sound must pass through more matter, space, and mediums before it has the opportunity to escape your house.  The effect of this is to preserve the volume and clarity in the house, but to minimize waves that can escape outside.   You might think that difference between well positioned speakers and poorly positioned ones is likely negligible but you are actually sorely wrong.  And now for a very crudely drawn diagram illustrating the implementation of this idea:

In this implementation the noise must pass through several interior walls, air, and bodies before refracting back through the same walls and bodies where it can then escape through exterior walls and windows.  By this time it the waves are weak and will lack the volume outside.  Which brings us to our next point.  Insulate exterior windows and doors where possible.

Insulate

Insulating walls is pretty much not within any party host’s capabilities, however there are a number of ways to insulate doors and windows.  To insulate windows you should first make sure that there are no crevices open to the outside.  This means make sure every window is as closed as it can be.  Next, try putting up heavy drapes or at least put your blinds down, these are just one more layer for the sound to travel through.  As for doors, it is best to just make sure that there are also no crevices through which sound can escape easily.  Does your exterior door have space between the floor and the base of the door?  If so, put in some rubber gasket.  Is there space between the edge and the jam or where it meets the hinges?  If so, fill in these spaces somehow.  Now, you should be set.

Implement White Noise

On often overlooked option for sound suppression is to actually cover up party noises.  The only real way to do this is with A/C units, and this is OK because A/C can service two purposes.  Wall mounted units are best because they are designed so that the sound from compressors and their inner components is projected outwards.  This means that they are both sound insulated at least decently, but also that their own noise will be projected outwards obscuring at least a little bit of your party noise.  Plus, they have the added benefit of cooling your party down, which if it is any good at all should be getting pretty steamy.  Central units can work as well, though not nearly as effectively.  The central unit is only really effective if it is placed somewhere that its sound will overlap with the party, but unfortunately central units are usually tucked away in some obscure place.  At least it will cool down the party though!

Know Your Rights:

If the police do come, be sure that you know your rights. 

The post Sound Suppression: The Key To All-Night College Partying appeared first on The Campus Companion Party Lab.

“KNOW YOUR NEIGHBORS, AND LET THEM KNOW

YOU”

The same way that professors rarely fail students whose names they know, your neighbors will rarely feel inclined to call the police and complain about your noise if they too know your name. Establishing good relationships with your neighbors is the golden rule to follow when trying to avoid getting busted. 

If your neighbors are twenty somethings like you, just let them know in advance when you plan on having parties and chances are they will come, drink and you will all be friends.  However, if your neighbors are all 40+ years old you have to talk to them.  Let them feel involved in your life.  Start with cheerful greetings when you see them on the street, and introduce yourself as their neighbor.  They WILL be taken aback by how forthright you are and how unexpected it is from a 20 year old.  Chat with them, and offer them your services should they ever need them.

Good, now you are established.  Before you ever throw a college party, in fact, a week or two in advance, ASK them if it is ok with them.  Do not…I repeat, do not “TELL” them that you are having a party.  In their mind, it is their neighborhood, not yours.  They do not like to be “TOLD” what’s what by the likes of you.

Use this phrase:

“I wanted to ask if it would be alright if I hosted an event for my friend’s birthday?”  (Always specify the purpose.  Birthdays, Holidays, Graduations etc. are qualifiers that make your neighbors understand the party as something you feel is an ethical obligation.)

Never use this phrase:

“Uhh, I like just wanted to like let you know…that, uhh, me and my friends are going to be throwing a party tomorrow because  it’s like my friend Kylie’s 21st birthday, and she like wants to get super wasted.”

NEVER, EVER, EVER say the words 21st birthday. Period.

If you are courteous and well liked, chances are they will say yes even if they are actually reluctant.  Offer your phone number and guarantee that if it is too loud, you will turn the party out and you should be golden.  Also, remember that first impressions are everything.  Therefore, maybe keep your first party toned down to give the impression that your parties are not that wild and crazy.

Lastly, always clean up outside your house ASAP after a party.  It would probably be good to scour your block for trash left in the street by your guests.  Your neighbors will see your effort and deem you “Considerate,” and “Clean.”  And that is all you need because remember, after all,”Cleanliness is next to Godliness.”  At least according to the sanctimonious type of folk that might call the cops on you for a little get together.

CREDENTIALS:

What are my credentials?  I am the far from amateur host of an innumerable  amount of parties (this means minimum 100+ guests)  in a city known as Charleston, South Carolina, where I live a block north of Broad Street.  For those unfamiliar with my fair city, the location of my house happens to be where all of the hyper-sensitive, self-entitled, hoitey-toitey, old-money families live.  These people, by way of DNA, are prescribed to HATE twenty somethings and our disgusting, un-christian, boozy parties.  Now, in light of all that I will say this twice: I have never been busted.  I have never been busted.

If All Else Fails?

If all your planning fails and your neighbors do end up calling the cops, read our guide on what to do if the police come a knockin.

The post The GOLDEN Rule of College Partying: Know Your Neighbors appeared first on The Campus Companion Party Lab.