Strange Ramblings in the Midst of Hurricane Sandy
Credit: Poor People Pub
She is coming. The news anchor has repetitiously announced this for the last 10 hours. I cannot help from watching the continued coverage. The barrage of reporting is numbing but the hype is addicting. She is predicted to be a cruel and vicious bitch, they say. Originating somewhere in the bowels of the Caribbean, no one is ready for the whirlwind wench. Like an ex-girlfriend of mine, she is going from town to town fucking everyone in sight.
Hurricane Sandy, the most feared storm system to hit the eastern seaboard since 1991’s “Perfect Storm,” is barreling towards us. The fear that the public and government officials feel is apparent with the closing of schools, work places, and government offices.
I am writing this story in a last minute teeth grinding frenzy. The squalls are lapping the beating rain against the window. There is only hours before all power is lost and I will be left in the dark hole of my apartment, gripping a bottle of wild turkey, and riding the storm out. I am not alone.
The core of the college youth affected by the storm are following suit. Last night, universities up and down the eastern coast began closing. Of course, this has given way to a slew of hurricane themed parties that will rage into Tuesday afternoon. On the eve of such devastation, drinking is a priority on the minds of college kids.
While most citizens are frantically combing stores for water, food, and survival gear, we have but one thing on our mind – booze. Whatever fear we subconsciously feel is masked by the rush of alcohol to the brain. With nothing left to do but sit and wait, drinking is the only fulfilling activity we can conjure up. Like heathens in the midst of a naturalistic séance, we gather to greet the storm. Booze in hand; we are unswayed by the hell coming our way.
This is made obvious by the numerous drinking games circulating the web already. With articles such as this and this, there is no doubt that people are using the storm as a form of entertainment. And why not? With no work, school, or forms of social media to keep us busy, we are left with nothing besides our friends and a case of booze.
Hurricane Sandy is no different than most events in college – an excuse to drink. It is the perfect example of college kids doing what they do best: making the most out of a crappy situation. While everyone is frantically jumping at the hype, we are simply preparing ourselves for a bout of simplicity. There is nothing more wholesome than sitting in the dark with friends, drinking, and telling stories into the night.
In preparation for Hurricane Sandy, I have done the following:
-Established my apartment as a Hurricane relief station. We are prepared with a copious amount of alcohol for those who’ve run dry.
- I have tied a boat to a tree outside. It will come in handy if all chaos breaks loose and I need to row to the local liquor store.
- I have also written a wordy email to my local governmental officials stressing the need to close everything for the entire week as the devastating hangover from Sandy will make it impossible to recuperate by Wednesday.
-Finally, I have made it a priority to invite an even amount of men and women to hold up in the apartment in case all humanity is washed away, and we are stuck with the task of repopulating the earth.
Now, I urge you to be safe. Enjoy the company of your friends, drink your free day away, but do it with a bit of sanity. Make sure you are prepared for the worst. There is no telling how bad the hurricane will be, but no one wants to be the drunken asshole when the shit hits the fan. Hunker down, hold on, and get ready – here comes Sandy.
Category: Drinks and Jungle Juice, Featured, Uncategorized
