If you’re like me, your house is full of empty beer cans and bottles, but you’re too afraid of upsetting the Beer Gods (read: lazy) to throw any of them away. But there’s good news: with a little creativity, you can completely avoid having to deal with your unhealthy hoarding habits! Here are some ideas for turning that pile of wounded soldiers into functional knick-knacks the whole house will enjoy.
Nothing says comfort like cold, unyielding glass and/or metal cradling your butt. Just imagine how cathartic it would feel to enjoy a nice cold one atop a pile of all your previous liquid conquests.
2. Pretty Lights:
For the four or five of you out there who like to drink but are still afraid of the dark (making blacking out a doubly frightening experience), here are some creative ways your empties can help keep the boogeyman at bay.
3. It’s 4:20 Somewhere Maaan:
Have fun explaining away these contraptions to the cop whose just pulled you over for driving 20mph under the speed limit (while blasting Phish at full volume). I’ve heard you can get a reduced sentence if you put the handcuffs on yourself.
Just as Darwin taught us (unless you live in Kansas), all life forms must evolve. Beer bottles, although not technically living, are no different. And while a beer bottle is typically a single-use drinking apparatus, it is a little-known fact that most beer bottles aspire to naturally evolve into cups and glasses, so they may be used again and again until they die of natural causes (read: your clumsy ass dropping them). With a little ingenuity, you can help them achieve this dream.
5. Get Festive:
The holidays are right around the corner…in the sense that some group of people somewhere will be celebrating some sort of holiday at an indeterminate time in the near-ish future, probably. If you happen to be one of those people, and your holiday of choice happens to involve the purchasing of gifts for others, and you happen to be too poor or lazy to buy anything for anyone, distract the hell out of them with your awesome holiday-themed beer creations.
Category: College Party Attractions