After a long summer living at my parent’s house, it’s finally time to get back into the college swing.
For a lot of you, your college careers are just beginning. Luckily, I had a group of upper classmen to show me the ropes and teach me social etiquette when I was a freshman. They bestowed priceless knowledge onto me about the do’s and don’ts of going to house parties.
With the Fall semester getting underway, as it probably is my duty now, here are five mistakes freshmen make at parties:
Being too loud:
“IT’S COLLEGE AND I WANT TO RAGE.” I know, I’ve been there. More often than not though, the loudest person in the room is the most likely to get kicked out. Noise violation tickets run around $200 these days and whoever lives there is going to get it and make you the pariah of house parties.
Getting too drunk:
This may seem obvious, but the myriad reasons may not be. By getting incredibly hammered you are now susceptible to things like being drawn on, throwing up in a strangers bathroom or worse. College house parties can be filled with less-than-honorable people and you’re not in your sheltered high school bubble anymore. Keep it together.
Smoking weed for the first time while you’re wasted:
This could fall under number two, but it needs its own section. I can’t emphasize how big of a mistake this is. I’m not a math major by any means, but I do know that inebriation + smoking weed = 99 percent chance of projectile vomiting. It’ll ruin weed forever for you, or at least until next semester.
Going to a party and bringing 10 other guys with you:
This doesn’t apply to women so much, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a fleet of freshmen guys walk into a party and a group of girls walk out simultaneously. Odds are also in favor of one of those guys wearing a tank top and wanting to smash someone’s face before the night is over. No one likes when any of this happens.
Walking out of a party with alcohol:
After you’ve finished a night of partying relatively unscathed, freshmen are sometimes too drunk to realize that they’re still holding that red cup full of whatever. If you cross path with foot patrol, you’ve now won an MIP ticket of around $150 and a trip to community service. It’s a rookie mistake.
There’s only so much advice I can try to give without saying that, with experience, comes knowledge.
Hopefully, these five warnings will allow you to attend house parties long enough to learn on your own.