Why Every Party Should Have an Industrial Water Cooler
My freshman year I distinctly remember the first time my roommate walked into my dorm suite. I remember it because it was a day that changed my life… or at least every weekend thereafter.
He entered our dorm while awkwardly lugging a huge industrial water cooler. How he managed to convince the front desk to let him bring it in is still a mystery to me. I guess people are wary of fucking with people who enjoy cold fresh water. I mean, they don’t even allow rice cookers, but somehow he got a water cooler into our dorm.
Either way, the other roommates in the suite had the same shocked expression on their faces as I did. An expression that said… “Great, we got stuck with this fucking kid. He’s probably an anal retentive bubble boy who is going to make us clean every day.
He pushed the water cooler up against the wall, and went back down to finish bringing his stuff up. For the most part, the other roommates and I avoided him while he unpacked, but night soon arrived and we all found ourselves congregating in the common room for our first night of college.
We were shooting the shit for about 30 minutes, and we were all having a good time. Well into the conversation my roommate went back to our room and emerged with a huge drum of water. He lifted it up carefully and placed it upright in the cooler. We all watched somewhat weirded out. It didn’t phase our roommate. He went to the kitchen grabbed a bunch of cups, and returned to the circle of couches where we were talking.
What he did next I’ll never forget. He filled up on of the cups, took a quick sip of one and let out a satisfied breath.
He handed me the cup, and said in an extremely serious tone… “You will remember me forever… Drink Up.”
The “water” in the water cooler was pure vodka, and for the rest of the night we were sipping from that cooler like alcoholic gerbils.
Forget about trying to sneak kegs into the dorm. For the next year we walked right past the front desk carrying 5 gallon drums of vodka without them thinking anything of it. Can you blame them? Who could really conceive of a 5 gallon drum of vodka…
ANYWAYS… That water cooler stayed with us all four years of college, and helped us throw some of the best college parties on the planet. In fact, it even kept us from getting in trouble with the cops several times. Once again, who would think to look for alcohol in an industrial water cooler. Not the cops.
This is why every college student who plans on having parties should get an industrial water cooler.
Now you will remember ME (or this article) forever.
Category: College Party Attractions, College Party Bust Proofing, Featured
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