Dehydration and Electrolyte Imbalance: Alcohol makes you shrivel up like a raisin

Alcohol (ethanol) spreads to almost every part of the body after being absorbed, including glands.  One gland, the pituitary gland, secretes a hormone (which acts as a signal to other parts of the body to carry out certain processes) known as anti-diuretic hormone (ADH).  ADH tells the kidney to reabsorb water into the body that you would ordinarily pee out.  It is active when you need more water, to prevent you from becoming dehydrated.  Alcohol blocks the release of ADH by the pituitary gland, so instead of reabsorbing water, your body gets rid of it instead.

This explains why when you drink you feel like you constantly have to go to the bathroom.  The body is essentially flushing out its fluids, instead of using them when you need them, leading you to become dehydrated.

Prevent it:

Most experts recommend consuming no more than one drink per hour.  Because we are college students, and therefore that seems pretty unreasonable, another way to slow dehydration is to drink water or another hydrating drink (like Gatorade) between each drink.  Double fist with a water bottle if you have to, it may look silly, but you’ll be the one laughing the next day when you can go out in the sun and your friends can’t.

Gastrointestinal Problems: Alcohol destroys your liver and makes you puke

Alcohol is partially absorbed through the stomach and intestines after you drink it, and the chemical properties of ethanol cause irritation of the stomach and intestinal lining, leading to inflammation.  This slows the emptying of the stomach, and makes your digestive tract work harder, producing more stomach acids and pancreatic and intestinal acids.

Liver damage is one of the most well known side effects of drinking.  This is because alcohol is broken down by the liver, and when the body senses alcohol being present, it focuses all of the liver’s energy on metabolizing it.  This means the liver doesn’t break down other molecules it normally would, including fats.  Over time, this makes the liver worse at breaking down those fats, leading to fatty deposits on the liver.

All of these reactions can lead to the nausea, vomiting, and upset stomach that result from drinking.

Prevent it:

Doubtless you’ve heard the phrase “Beer before liquor, never been sicker.”  While mixing different types of alcohol, such as beer, liquor, and wine, will not make you sick (they all have ethanol) the other components of these drinks can increase speed of intoxication, which can affect how your stomach feels.  Carbonated drinks, like beers and sparkling wines, irritate the lining of the stomach more than noncarbonated drinks, which can make the symptoms the alcohol is causing worse.

Eating before, and with, alcohol can help prevent nausea.  Fatty foods especially slow the absorption of alcohol, but any food in the stomach before or with alcohol causes the digestive system to split its energy to process both, thus slowing the rate of alcohol absorption.  While this means you might not get drunk as quickly, it also means you will not irritate your body as much, and might feel better as the night goes on and the next day.

Disruption of Sleep: Alcohol doesn’t help you get a good night’s sleep

While alcohol makes falling into bed and passing out easy, it doesn’t mean your night of sleep is a good one.  When you sleep, you go through stages of dreaming (known as rapid-eye-movement or REM) and deep sleeping (slow-wave).  Alcohol puts the body in longer stages of slow-wave sleep, and shorter REM stages.  REM sleep is necessary for memory-retrieval, among other things, so depriving the body of this stage can inhibit restfulness (and memory of the previous night).

Alcohol also causes relaxation of the throat muscles, which can lead to impaired breathing while sleeping, causing snoring and sleep apnea.  This is when the body is deprived of enough oxygen while sleeping, waking you up (often without you realizing it).  These disruptions prevent the normal progression of the sleep cycles discussed above.

 Prevent it:

Going to bed while drunk obviously means the large amount of alcohol in your system will disrupt your sleep more.  If you can, stop drinking at least an hour before you go to bed (it takes your body about an hour to fully process one alcoholic drink), that way, you do not continue getting more drunk even while you’re asleep.  The less alcohol you have in your system when you fall asleep, the better sleep you’ll get.  Besides, while you are not drinking alcohol, you could use that time to drink water and prevent the headache of the next morning.

Alcohol is a huge part of college life for many of us.  It can lead to fun nights, but also terrible mornings.  By drinking water, eating food, and slowing down, you can help alleviate your hangover symptoms the next day.

The post The Why And How Of Your Hangover appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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#collegerelationships

In need of advice? The Campus Companion Advice Corner is there to be your brutally honest friend, give you some good advice, even hold your hand. We’ve got your back.

Submit anonymously by clicking here.

I’m interested in this guy who only wants to hook up with me and not have a real relationship. I’m super attracted to him to the point of distraction, but I don’t know what to do about our different expectations. Should I wait it out?

Your question brings up an even deeper one: when is it time to DTR (define the relationship)? Of course, most things take their course and eventually lead into relationships. But, if you’re really concerned about your different expectations so much that it’s taking away from the time you spend together, then go ahead and ask him! Don’t compromise your beliefs in relationships simply because you want to make it work- in the long run you’ll feel most likely feel unhappy and used. It may seem awkward and weird, but it’s definitely important to understand both your and your partner’s intentions long before it spirals out of control. Good luck and stay calm! If it’s meant to be, it will definitely work out. 

How do people think of research topics for science?

Oftentimes, college students are assigned research topics for whatever research they are participating. But it that’s not the case for you and you have no constraints, find a topic that interests you! Alright, that sounded super cheesy. If you’re truly struggling to come up with an idea for research, think about any major gaps in knowledge in your specific field. For example- why are people so attracted to cats on the internet? Curiosity and necessity are great drivers of research and ingenuity! You’re going to be spending a lot of time researching, working, and experimenting- so choose wisely!

How can I get a boyfriend, not just a douche-y hook-up?

So, I take it you’re a relationship sort of person! There’s no harm or shame in that. First off, take a few steps back and evaluate where you’ve been spending your social time. If you’ve been hoping to find the partner of your dreams at a frat party….perhaps try a different venue. The hook-up culture is most common at the average rager, party, concert and whatever else involves alcohol and grinding. If you’re looking for a boyfriend, try your other extracurricular activities or classes- you already have something in common and you’re meeting out of the context of a dance floor! If all else fails, follow the old adage: you often meet the most important people when you’re not looking!

The post The Campus Companion Advice Corner #1: Hookups, Relationships, and Science Experiments appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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Chick flicks are screwing up our perception of love.

There.  I said it.  I have indulged in many a chick flick in my life, but of all the movies I’ve seen, I can think of two that are actually maybe a teeny bit accurate.  TWO.  You want to know what those two are?  Say Anything… with John Cusack and… wait, scratch that, I can only think of one.  I’ll come back to Say Anything… later.  Right now, I’m going to educate all the hopeless romantics out there about how chick flicks are messing up our ideas of love, and in turn, messing up our relationships in college.

The Hate-turned-Love Relationship (i.e. The Ugly Truth)

 When is the last time you met someone you really didn’t like, who you proceeded to butt heads with for long periods of time, and then all of a sudden realized all their little “quirks” (aka douchebagness) was cute?  Come on now, people.  Even if you did have one of these pseudo love-hate relationships that blossomed into a real relationship, do you think it would last?

In The Ugly Truth, Katherine Heigl plays a stuck up news executive who wears her hair in a bun and lives alone with her cat.  Gerard Butler is a tell-it-like-it-is man’s man who somehow gets all the women when he clearly has his head so far up his own ass I’m surprised he can even recognize a female when he sees one.  They are so fundamentally different when it comes to love and relationships, that them becoming attracted to one another is absolutely absurd.  Think about it.  Gerard Butler’s character is probably the type of guy who likes hookups and taking women home from the bar.  Heigl’s character prefers romantic dates with men who wear ties and loafers.  Butler probably parties a lot, Heigl obviously doesn’t.  Even if sparks flew, what kind of a relationship would that be?  They don’t even like doing the same things!

I feel like especially in college, the need to be interested in the same things and actually be friends as well as a couple is neccessary.  In college, you are spending most of your time trying new things and making mistakes and changing your mind.  Dating someone totally different from you might help you learn about yourself and open you up to new experiences, but you have to actually like the person…

The Creepy Stalker (i.e. The Notebook and Twilight) 

Okay, so Twihards might cringe to have their obsession lumped in the chick flick category, but this whole convoluted series is about two people falling in love, and then causing tons of problems for everyone else.  But, before they can cause worldwide vampire panic, there was the initial attraction.

As for The Notebook, I know this is perhaps one of the most beloved chick flicks of all time, and I’ve watched it plenty of times myself, but I feel like something important needs to be pointed out.

If a guy watches you while you sleep without you knowing it or threatens to kill himself unless you date him, run far far away.

Yes, even if he looks like Ryan Gosling.  Come on, ladies, think about this.  Imagine you were innocently at a fair with your friend, and this guy you’ve never met keeps talking to you, and you obviously aren’t interested (because watch, Rachel McAdams is obviously not interested) and then suddenly he is hanging by one hand dozens of feet in the air telling you to go on a date with him.  Imagine how terrifying that would be! Also, I would like to point out that nobody else in town questioned his sanity.  Where was the “Son, do you need to talk to someone about your suicidal tendencies?” Why was nobody concerned that this dude was risking his life for a girl he just met?

And then we have Twilight.  Never mind that Edward can read minds and has a serious case of the creepy stares, he also never sleeps and would rather spend his time perched on Bella’s windowsill watching her sleep.  And when she finds out, does she run for her police officer father?  Nope.  She thinks, “Oh, how cute.  He likes to watch me sleep,” and then spends the rest of the Twilight series giving up her whole life for this cold, dead guy who drinks animal blood.  Really?

(Also, Robert Pattinson spends most of the movie looking constipated. Not sexy.)

If Edward and Bella were a couple in college, they would be the type of people you would see during the first week of school, and then, once they found each other, poof.  You never see them again.  Occasionally you see a picture of you all together and wonder what happened to them, but they have isolated themselves so much from everyone else that it’s not worth the effort to reach out. Don’t be that couple! If you break up, you won’t have anyone else to turn to.

The Rude Girl Gets the Hot Guy (i.e. The Lucky One, 10 Things I Hate About You, The Last Song)

Ok, so Nicholas Sparks is a serious offender when it comes to writing especially mean or annoying female characters, and then having the male characters wait around patiently for her to see his ways.  As for 10 Things I Hate About You, I might be biased because I don’t like Julia Stiles, but seriously, her character is one of the most unpleasant people ever.

In The Lucky One, never mind the fact Zac Efron walked from California to Louisiana to find some chick he has never met, but she isn’t even nice to him.  She literally does everything in her power to drive him away, and makes a total ass of herself, and he sits there looking all brooding and plays with her kid and helps her dogs and fixes her tractor.  When she finally realizes how awesome he is, he accepts her and forgives her.

No.  Why would any guy waste time on a girl who doesn’t treat him well?  I have never heard anyone say, “Well, she’s kind of a total brat to me, but I think she will come around.”  This also goes for The Last Song.  Miley Cyrus can’t act, for one, so she might have thought she was actually supposed to be an appealing character, but regardless, she shuts Liam Helmsworth down over and over again, and has hissy fits for no reason.  And yet, he keeps on coming back.

If you dislike someone enough to treat them that way, it’s not going to work.  In the real world, they either give up or give it right back to you, and there is no dating involved.  People don’t fall in love after treating each other like dirt.  It doesn’t happen.  I like to think most of us have plenty of other people around us that treat us well.  And anyway, ain’t nobody got time for that.  I seriously doubt a guy will waste his time on a girl that sends such clear hate signals.

Say Anything… or the Greatest Chick Flick Ever

If you are a girl or a John Cusack fan and haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.  The reason this is such a great chick flick is because it actually shows the progression of a relationship from the beginning, and past the initial wooing.  Cusack is bumbling, awkward, and totally in over his head with Ione Skye’s character, the valedictorian and daddy’s girl.  And yet, he is so appealing, and so real, you understand exactly why she falls in love with him.  And he with her.  The movie doesn’t end there, either.  It goes on to show how they handle her father’s tax fraud and her leaving to go to England, and it isn’t perfect, but throughout, both characters are consistent. They aren’t caricatures of actual people, they act like real people.

Say Anything… is about two recent high school graduates who are trying to find out where they are going in life and where they belong. They work through their identity crises together, and make mistakes along the way, but still stick with one another.  This movie is such a great example of how a relationship should work, especially during a time when we are going through so many changes, that I think everyone should see it.

So let’s stop obsessing over unrealistic fantasies and creepy behavior.  And keep in mind, if Liam Helmsworth and Miley Cyrus happened, there is hope for you.

The post How Chick Flicks Mess With Our Heads appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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We’ve all been there…going to your college town restaurant with 15 of your closest friends to celebrate a roommate’s birthday. The pomp and circumstance of the evening fills you with a kind of jubilation…but sometimes that jubilation translates into annoyance for your fellow restaurant-goers.

Here is a list of some of the more obnoxious things college kids do at restaurants. This list is meant to both cultivate an awareness of your behavior and also to help you refine your annoying techniques to the point of mastery.

1. Drunken Dialogue

“Oh my God, you guys, I’m sooooooooooooooo drunk right now” is probably one of the dumbest things you can say when you’re drunk. One, no one believes you. Two, no one cares. This conversation piece drives your neighbors nuts when you’re sitting at a restaurant, not to mention your tendency to speak twice as loud and continue to rudely pester the waitstaff for more booze. Yes, BYOB is a cool concept, but not when you let everyone around you know how “fucking awesome it is!!!!!” every 5 seconds…loudly.

2. The Picky Vegetarian

I had a friend in college who used to harass the shit out of waiters at every restaurant we went to. Did you put on a new pair of gloves when you were making my food? Was this food prepared on the same cutting board as the chicken? Are you *sure* there’s no egg in this? Can you please bring a new plate—there was one piece of sushi sitting on this? Are you sure this is organic soy milk?

I was fully confident that the waiters would piss in our food all of the time. Yes, it’s understandable in whatever hippy dippy liberal arts college you’re at that everyone is super socially conscious and it’s fair trade everything, but give people in the real world some slack. Waiters and waitresses have a hard life, and generally try to do the best they can. At the very least when you ask these obnoxious questions (even though a green V is clearly indicated next to the item you ordered), do it politely without the accustory tone.

3. Tipping is not a City in China

There’s nothing worse than a group of 20-something-year-olds trying to figure out the check at the end of the night. Inevitably, someone doesn’t have anything but $20s, a few forgot their wallets, and there’s never any consensus on how much each person owes. To add to the absurdity, college kids don’t understand how to take 15% of anything. They either under-tip or over-tip, but what makes your fellow restaurant patrons’ blood boil is the exhausting debate that ensues that leaves no one satisfied.

4. Bad Table Manners

Obviously this depends on the restaurant you’re at and what you order, but the general rule of thumb is that if you have to wait to be seated, you shouldn’t be using your bare hands to eat. Wait for everyone to get their dish before you start chowing down. Napkins are not just for decoration. Also, when you get up to leave, there shouldn’t be all of this food residue and debris left behind. Also, chew with your mouths closed!

5. Not Having a Reservation for a Party > 4

Oh c’mon…..

The post Obnoxious Things College Kids Do At Restaurants appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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Got a question? We’ve got an answer. 

Tired of hearing about what your college experience might be like? Have some burning questions that you’re embarrassed to ask about? Look no further! The Advice Corner allows you to submit your questions anonymously to college students who have gone through anything and everything you could possibly think of. From college applications to black out nights to acing exams and graduation- we’ve done it. Submit your anonymous questions by clicking here. 

The post The Campus Companion Advice Corner appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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Research Opportunities

What do professors do in the summer? Research! Most professors are avidly searching for research assistants to do jobs related to their own endeavors. While the job might not be paid, you will have the ability to put all the theoretical knowledge you learned in class to work. Even though this job seems to apply only to science concentrators, don’t be fooled! History majors can do historical research like going through old documents and recording notes! English majors might edit writing for the summer. Ask your professors what they’re up to this summer and you might find yourself working on a cure for cancer.

Colleges around the country (and the world) are making discoveries as we speak! Be a part of something huge!

Summer Credits

Failed Orgo 1 this semester? Missing some credits? Want to get ahead? Take a summer class at your college! You’ll be living in a space that you’re already familiar with and getting ahead of the curve (or repairing some mistakes from your past semesters). I’m personally seeking a college class this summer so that I don’t lose my Arabic skills over two month summer break. If you take enough summer classes, you might even rack up enough credits to graduate a semester or two early! You’re essentially paying money now that you won’t have to in the future- an investment of sorts.

Take your studies wherever you want! You might even graduate early.

Explore the college neighborhood

Staying on campus might sound like a continuation of stress from your last semester. Think again! Most colleges do not allow you to take as many classes during the summer, which frees up time to explore all of the wonderful restaurants, neighborhoods, or natural habitats around your school. Who knows what you might find when you have more time to devote to adventures and exploration in your own college town.

Your college town might offer a lot more than you know! Explore.

The post The Perks of Staying on Campus this Summer appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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Remember that old high school adage, “Dating gets better in college?” It’s thoughtful advice from adults complete and utter BS that the guys we graduate with from high school magically turn into prince charmings during the summer before freshman year. Instead, the girls who are not so keen on hook-up culture are thrown into the sexual cesspool that is freshman year. So this one’s for all the girls out there who went through freshman year looking for a relationship, but are ending the year single and dejected. Here’s some consolation for the awkward encounters and regrettable weekend antics that we’ve all been through. Here’s why freshman guys suck, and why you shouldn’t take it so personally.

Wanted this freshman year? Well, me too.

Choice. Lots of Choice.

Being a freshman means you can’t possibly meet every other freshman (unless your school is ridiculously small). Every weekend brings a new adventure and new (facebook) friends. Being in an exclusive relationship freshman year often means cutting off the ability to meet lots of new people- whether that’s because you’re spending lots of time with your new flame or you’re just not dance-floor-making-out anymore. Whatever the case, lots of guys shy away from relationships early on in college because they still want to spread their wings and evaluate all of the people around them- as should you! If a potential entanglement goes wrong, you still have hundreds of other guys to meet and talk about what you’re majoring in with. The possibilities are endless! Just because it doesn’t work out doesn’t mean you’re out of the game.

It’s Not High School Anymore

Too many parents met in college. It’s actually a sickly amount. The thing about college dating is that once you hit like 22 (or so I’ve been told) it gets really super serious. Okay it’s not really that you’re going to be married or anything– but guys definitely feel the pressure that high school dating is different than college dating. There’s more pressure to coordinate schedules, make time between studying, and spend lots of time together. It’s a balancing act that also involves feelings- which can go badly. Keeping things casual usually avoids this…which often means avoiding the “boyfriend/girlfriend” label all together.

Apparently things get serious after college…

We’re All Finding Ourselves

Remember the shy little freshman you used to be? The one that committed those Seven Deadly Sins and was figuring out How to Study. Chances are you’re not that person anymore…hopefully. College really is about experimenting and going on the personal journey of finding yourself. So, can you really blame the guy who took you out on a few dates for not wanting to be in an exclusive relationship only a few months into freshman year? Probably not. As much as he may have broken your heart, you’ve got some growing to do too. We’ve got to date the wrong ones before we can find the right one, ladies! If it doesn’t work, it wasn’t meant to be. Chin up and move right along until you find someone who makes you feel happy and comfortable. He’s got to love you for you- not what you think he’s looking for.

Deep Breaths…It’ll Be Alright

Word around campus is that around junior year, guys start to want girlfriends or something? Yeah there we go, another adage. Truth is, as much as I can go on and on categorizing all freshman guys, they really truly aren’t all the same. Somewhere out there your soul mate’s thinking about how he wants to meet you! (Okay, no not really, that’s super creepy). Think about the sheer amount of people you’ve met in just the past year. Double or triple that and you’ve got the amount of people you’ll continue to meet for the rest of your life! Prince charming’s got to be in there. So in the mean time, meet as many people as you can, learn as much as your brain can hold, and enjoy college! Soon enough, it’ll be all over.

If only we could all find a love like Cory and Topanga’s.

The post Freshman Thoughts on College Dating appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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This could be you with your new apartment! Except, well, you’re not Carrie Bradshaw.

Local Colleges/Universities

Pros: Dorm housing, Potential meal plan, Lower costs than during the semester

Cons: Living on a college campus (again), Potentially expensive, Random roommates

Every major (and even minor) city in the U.S. has at least one college. Since most schools don’t have as many students during the summer as they do during the fall and winter semester, dorms are available in the summer to people in summer semester or people just wanting a room for internship purposes. At the end of the day, schools are looking to fill up as many dorms as they can (because they make serious money). On the flipside, living in a dorm has similar amenities to what you’re already used to: from the old communal bathroom to the perk of having a laundry room only a few floors away. Use your location to your advantage and explore what potential universities or colleges can offer you housing.

Staying in New York City? Try Columbia University housing!

Subletting

Pros: No dorm rules, No meal plan, “Living on your own”

Cons: Signing a lease, Greater responsibility, Expensive without roommates, Bills

The adult option: subletting an apartment. If you’re ready to sign a lease and take on the responsibility of your own apartment, then go for it! Apartments allow for more privacy, less rules, and more independence. If you go in to a lease with friends, chances are the costs of living on your own will be less than that of a dorm. While subletting involves greater responsibility in terms of taking care of an actual house, paying rent, budgeting for bills, and being generally independent, it’s a great learning experience for the real world. Sooner or later, you’re going to have to sign a lease and be responsible. Why not give it a shot now?

Welcome to the adult world! Starring you!

City-specific

Pros: Staying in the city you’re working in, Close to work

Cons: Most expensive option, Same as subletting

Put in a quick Google search for internship housing for any specific city, and chances are you’ll find intern-only housing. While I can’t guarantee that these options are the most economical, the point is that these options are available if you’re looking for housing far from home, in cities without family or viable university options. If you’re looking to cut costs, look for people at your school that are going to be in the same city! Roommates cut costs at the expense of losing some living space…not a bad trade off. Here’s some ideas provided courtesy of my own google searching.

Interning on the hill? You could live on the hill too! (or pretty close)

Near to home? Stay home!

Pros: No costs other than commuting, Home cooked food, Showering without flip-flops, Comfort

Cons: Commuting costs, Living with parents

Planning on commuting to your internship and staying at home? Props to you for using your location to your advantage. Landing an internship near to home means enjoying the comforts of your mom’s cooking without racking up thousands of dollars in rent and dorm fees, particularly if you’re at an unpaid internship. On the other hand, commuting can be expensive when considering gas, trains, and any other transportation needed to arrive to your internship on time every day.

What’s that? Oh right it’s your house!

The post An Intern’s Guide to Finding Summer Housing appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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Your weekend could be this!

Understand your sleeping arrangements:  Be one with the floor

Visiting your best girl friend? Maybe you’ll share a bed….a twin XL bed made for the bodies of house elves. Make sure you have some idea of where you’re sleeping so you’re not calling the bare linoleum floor your abode for a few nights. Need a blanket? Bring a blanket. If you’re the type of person who can’t sleep unless your body is on a 40000-thread count sheet, then be ready to be uncomfortable. College kids everywhere are just as broke as you and don’t necessarily have extra beds just lying around (or maybe they do!). Point is, ask where you’re sleeping and plan ahead.

Know where you’re sleeping. This could be you.

Bring Your Shower Flip-Flops–DO NOT FORGET

Don’t even ask ahead. Just do it. Dorm showers everywhere are GROSS. You can get diseases in any shower used by twenty people. Bring your shower supplies to the greatest extent that you can, but definitely do not neglect the shower shoes. No further explanation.

These will actually keep you from becoming diseased.

Don’t get lost

If you’re planning on going hard and taking advantage of a *totally awesome and new* party culture, then definitely charge your phone and acquire some understanding of how to get back to your host if needed. I’m going to out on a limb here, but chances are if you’re intoxicated/tipsy/drunk, your sense of direction probably will decline. Don’t lose track of your friend through the night. Buddy system all the way! Maybe leave a trail of breadcrumbs…

Stick to your buddy and you’ll make it home alright.

Do not hookup with your host’s roommate

NO. NO. NO. You may hit it off really with them, and it may be tempting. Still, don’t be that girl or guy that tries to get some immediately after hitting the new campus. Your friend might hate you forever, and if you visit again, it will inevitably be awkward. Make some friends! Have a dance floor make out! Just don’t cross the line with people that are a big part of your host friend’s life. Reeking havoc over the course of a day or weekend definitely does not make you a good guest.

Be respectful, man

Your parents raised you to be a good person. Don’t be a bad guest, i.e. pee in your friend’s closet, use their toothbrush, disappear for the entire time your there, etc. You’re taking up their time, meal credits, and (already nonexistent) dorm space. Be kind, and you just might be invited back for a second visit.

The post Visiting Friends at College: An Etiquette Guide appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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I first discovered fan videos when I was looking for a trailer for the first Twilight movie (no, I’m not proud of this).  I was searching before casting had happened, and I kept coming across all these videos called “Twilight Trailer!” or “The best Edward!”  What I noticed, though, was that the videos had clips of different actors…in shows or films they had already been in.  I kept seeing Ian Somerhalder, Henry Cavill, and Emily Browning popping up in shots from different movies I had seen them in, and all I could think was “Why aren’t they ever in scenes together?!”

And then I realized.  It was fan video.

What the heck is a fan video?

From what I can see, fan videos range from compilations of favorite parts of movies to fake trailers for upcoming films, video games, or television shows.  I’ve seen entire ten-minute videos dedicated to one person throughout many different films.  There are fan videos that are simply slideshows of pictures of certain actors, usually set to alternative, edgy music.

For example, the most recent one I stumbled across was called “Fifty Shades of Grey Teaser Trailer 2013.”  Sounds so promising right?  Wrong.  Set to Snow Patrol (which honestly makes anything more awesome), this four-minute video even had the glowing earth Universal Studios opening, which made it seem SO LEGIT.  There were shots of Matt Bomer (of White Collar fame) walking slowly through white rooms with sharp suits, slamming papers onto desks, answer and hanging up phones, and getting in and out of cars.  There is this bit where he holds an apple and winks at someone off screen.  And then there are even shots of some man putting a woman in handcuffs (you don’t see their faces), bare torsos, red lips, that apple again.  It frustratingly never shows the face of the famous Anastasia Steele, but at the end, pans out with the words, “Who will be the one who gives him more? Could it be you?”

At this point I started laughing hysterically.  An entire four-minute video with countless clips of Matt Bomer from all different episodes of White Collar set to this music and timed out to look like a real trailer, and it wasn’t even real.

If you are looking for another equally entertaining fake Fifty Shades of Grey trailer, see this one.  If you make it to the end of the video, when they start listing the actors, you are in for a treat.

The type of person you are if you make fan videos:

The Casting Connoisseur

You probably have a lot of spare time on your hands, either because you forgo social interactions to hole up in your room cutting clips from your favorite shows, or because you are unemployed/on school break/live in your parent’s basement.  You know all of the potential cast-lists of the biggest up and coming movies, and you have your own opinion on who should be the next Christian Grey.  Movies are often not as sweet for you because they never cast who you want, and you spend the entire time fantasizing about the people you knew should have those roles.

The Lazy Gamer

As one who loves video games myself, not only is YouTube my source for hilarious cat videos, but also for the trailers for new, upcoming games.  It was through this search I discovered that if you don’t actually care about gameplay, but would rather see the cutscenes and storyline of the more role-play games, all you need to do is search “cutscene (game name)” and voila! No button-mashing.

If you are a maker of one of these videos, you either played the whole game through and decided there were certain scenes you wanted to see again, or you have some secret ability to take only the cutscenes from the game (how do you do this, Lazy Gamer?  I used to start multiple files of the same game so I could watch a scene more than once, or die on purpose to replay that scene before YouTube existed). The game is not about the actual gameplay for you, it’s all about the brilliantly crafted Japanese anime-created characters, with their badly timed voiceovers and absolutely implausible story-lines.  You probably have a Fanfiction.net account and a DeviantArt.com account dedicated to your fan work, and you spend the year anticipating various cosplay conventions.  You also have a lot of fake weapons lying around your house.

The Philanthropist

What? Philanthropist vidder? Yes, the philanthropist vidder is the wonderful person whose obsession with an actor manifests itself in videos showcasing said person’s greatest and sexiest moments.  I applaud you, Philanthropist, for committing your time to provide the rest of us shameless hours of celeb-gawking.  You know exactly the time in The Notebook when Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams smooch in the rain, you’ve made an art form of capturing Taylor Lautner removing his shirt, and you know more about the evolution of Andrew Garfield’s six-pack better than Spidey does.  From all females everywhere, thank you for all your work, Philanthropist, thank you. Behold.

Vidders everywhere, I don’t understand you, but at the same time, you make my YouTube experience that much more entertaining.

The post I’m Fifty Shades of Confused by Fan Videos appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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