The Campus Companion » Sara Tahir

How to Win at Course Registration

Sara Tahir — Sat, 06 Apr 2013 12:09:32 +0000

It’s April, which means that there is only about a month and a half left of school. While Spring Fever is starting to hit and exam anxiety is starting to creep, there’s still the all-important course registration period to contend with. A seemingly mindless task that doesn’t involve much more than clicking a bunch of fields on a course registration page, it’s actually a critical exercise that does require some thought and planning. But, there is a way to minimize the burden of selecting your classes for next semester and buying yourself at least a summer to get your shit together.

Talk to TAs/People Who’ve Taken the Class Before

Talking to a professor about a class you’re interested in taking next semester is not the way to go, because all that is going to happen is that the prof is going to parrot a response that vaguely sounds like the course description. If you want to get a real feel for a given class, make it point to seek out someone (responsible) who took the class and give you a balanced response about the demands of class without boasting about how s/he left everything to the last minute, didn’t read anything and still got an A. You’ll also get a better idea of the balancing act that the class involves, because quite frankly, your professors often have unrealistic expectations that your sole focus is on their one class.

TAs are another valuable source of information to consider, especially since they are either undergrads or grad students who have a unique insight into the inner workings of a professor’s twisted mind. They do the grading, they know the prof’s pet interests and peculiarities, and they are the ones who lead discussion sections. Doing a little research now can save you a lot of trauma when you’re trying to check out a million classes come fall shopping period.

Check Your Prereqs

This is such a simple thing to do, but then again, perhaps it’s so basic that people forget. A great way to limit the field of uncertainty for the fall semester is to check off any major requirements or prereqs you’ll need for future semesters. In fact, you could end up killing two birds with one stone if you plan to take a prereq in the fall for a more interesting and advanced class in the spring. Some forward thinking can only help.

Pre-register for Limited Enrollment Classes

So you know how course registration begins at a precise time in the wee hours of the morning (well, okay 7 AM, which is the crack of dawn by college standards)? Well, set the alarm if you’re eyeing any classes with a limited enrollment. Quite frankly, it’s more difficult to beg yourself into a class with a slew of other wait-listers in the fall than it is to pre-register and drop the class the spring before. Every college has gunners, and you can bet at 7:00:30 they will have finished pre-registered for all the classes you waited until noon to sign-up for and have blocked you out completely.

Class-Specific Registration Advice

Entering Sophomore Year

1. Don’t overload. Just because you’ve got a year of college under your belt and got As in all of your first-year classes, doesn’t mean you’re equipped to handle 4 reading/writing-intensive classes plus macroeconomics (my mistake). Try to keep a balanced course-load so all you’re doing in the fall isn’t studying.

2. Deepen your interests. Take at least one or two classes in the area you’ll probably major in and start experimenting with some of the more advanced classes. Start paving your way to completing concentration requirements…or at least Stats which is basically a requirement for all college majors.

3. Think ahead to study abroad. If you might want to go abroad your junior spring, register for a language course if you’re desired program needs it. It doesn’t matter if you’re starting from scratch…if you keep up the language for 3 consecutive semesters, you should be ready to take on a program in another country with a language requirement.

4. Keep on exploring. Don’t totally devote your sophomore fall to completing your major. Continue exploring topics the way you were as a freshman and push yourself to take classes that actually interest you.

Entering Junior Year

1. Seminar City. Because you’re entering the seminar phase of your college education, you better make sure you wake up to pre-register otherwise you’ll be in a pretty dire circumstance of begging your way into classes come fall.

2. Standardized Test Year. Start to think about when you’re going to take the GREs/LSATs/MCATs/GMATs. You may want to consider keeping one of your junior semesters light so you can prep for these tests in the summer before the craziness of senior year and application season starts.

3. Plan ahead. If you’re going to be heading abroad in the spring and know you’re not taking any classes abroad for your major, you may want to seriously consider getting a few key requirements out of the way, so you’re not completely screwed when you come back your senior year.

Entering Senior Year

1. Last Huff. Use your senior fall to wrap up any lingering course requirements. By the time you reach the spring, you won’t have the energy to do work anymore. Plus, your thesis will ruin your life.

2. Practical Matters. Some souls will be going directly into the work force after graduation, and for them it’s imperative to take some kind of practical life skills class…from economics to accounting to persuasive communication to Management of Industrial and Non-Profit Organizations (Shout out to Brown ENGN0900). To some of the places you’ll be throwing job applications at, it might be a good idea to look as though you can somewhat function in the real world even though you’ve been immersing yourself in Kabuki Theater for the last 3 years.

3. Last Hurrah. Now is the time to take anything that sounds remotely interesting to you. Do something fun, whether it’s starting a new language or testing out African dance.

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Obnoxious Things College Kids Do At Restaurants

Sara Tahir — Sat, 06 Apr 2013 11:47:11 +0000

We’ve all been there…going to your college town restaurant with 15 of your closest friends to celebrate a roommate’s birthday. The pomp and circumstance of the evening fills you with a kind of jubilation…but sometimes that jubilation translates into annoyance for your fellow restaurant-goers.

Here is a list of some of the more obnoxious things college kids do at restaurants. This list is meant to both cultivate an awareness of your behavior and also to help you refine your annoying techniques to the point of mastery.

1. Drunken Dialogue

“Oh my God, you guys, I’m sooooooooooooooo drunk right now” is probably one of the dumbest things you can say when you’re drunk. One, no one believes you. Two, no one cares. This conversation piece drives your neighbors nuts when you’re sitting at a restaurant, not to mention your tendency to speak twice as loud and continue to rudely pester the waitstaff for more booze. Yes, BYOB is a cool concept, but not when you let everyone around you know how “fucking awesome it is!!!!!” every 5 seconds…loudly.

2. The Picky Vegetarian

I had a friend in college who used to harass the shit out of waiters at every restaurant we went to. Did you put on a new pair of gloves when you were making my food? Was this food prepared on the same cutting board as the chicken? Are you *sure* there’s no egg in this? Can you please bring a new plate—there was one piece of sushi sitting on this? Are you sure this is organic soy milk?

I was fully confident that the waiters would piss in our food all of the time. Yes, it’s understandable in whatever hippy dippy liberal arts college you’re at that everyone is super socially conscious and it’s fair trade everything, but give people in the real world some slack. Waiters and waitresses have a hard life, and generally try to do the best they can. At the very least when you ask these obnoxious questions (even though a green V is clearly indicated next to the item you ordered), do it politely without the accustory tone.

3. Tipping is not a City in China

There’s nothing worse than a group of 20-something-year-olds trying to figure out the check at the end of the night. Inevitably, someone doesn’t have anything but $20s, a few forgot their wallets, and there’s never any consensus on how much each person owes. To add to the absurdity, college kids don’t understand how to take 15% of anything. They either under-tip or over-tip, but what makes your fellow restaurant patrons’ blood boil is the exhausting debate that ensues that leaves no one satisfied.

4. Bad Table Manners

Obviously this depends on the restaurant you’re at and what you order, but the general rule of thumb is that if you have to wait to be seated, you shouldn’t be using your bare hands to eat. Wait for everyone to get their dish before you start chowing down. Napkins are not just for decoration. Also, when you get up to leave, there shouldn’t be all of this food residue and debris left behind. Also, chew with your mouths closed!

5. Not Having a Reservation for a Party > 4

Oh c’mon…..

The post Obnoxious Things College Kids Do At Restaurants appeared first on The Campus Companion.

The 5 Phases of an All-Nighter

Sara Tahir — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 20:28:32 +0000

All-nighters are comically messy affairs. In the moment they can be adrenalin-producing and high anxiety inducing, but in retrospect they form some of your fondest college memories. The number of bonding sessions I had with people in libraries over our shared “omg, I’ve ruined my academic semester,” as well as the number of absurdities encountered at 2 AM…from naked donut runs to $1 bets…are often some of my best anecdotes about college right up there with Spring Weekend and Study Abroad.

So, yes, all-nighters are massively painful exercises in ensuring that you don’t receive an Incomplete or No Credit on your college transcript. But, they’re also a ton of fun…in a twisted sort of way.

Phase 1: Last Meal on Earth

The all-nighter begins with an extremely lavish meal. Whether you hold court at the dining hall with a slew of friends a la Last Supper or you go to the sandwich shop to get the pricey lobster roll, you do your meal before the all-nighter right. You even get the super creamy dessert and YOLO! whip cream on top of your very fat latte. Basically, you use gluttony to treat your body right and fuel your exploits into academic purgatory. It’s also a farewell of sorts because chances are that you won’t see your friends for at least 2 days (all-nighter + massive sleep recovery period + catchup for other classes).

Phase 2: Getting Cozy

At 7 pm, you head off to find a place to put down roots for the night. Often times what occurs is that you’ll feel uncomfortable in one place and then shift around to another library or an abandoned classroom. If you do settle on a place before 7:30, you’ll spend at least an hour checking Facebook, wandering around talking to friends or people in your class, and finding ways to procrastinate. You tell yourself you’re waiting for your coffee to kick in, but really you’re scared as shit to embark on a potentially academically deadly endeavor.

Phase 3: Burst of Productivity

From 9 – 10 pm, the library starts to clear out (unless it’s finals) or you start to realize that you’re never going to finish if you don’t start NOW. You’re mind starts to clear and you hit a bit of a rhythm for a couple of hours. Hey, this paper isn’t going to be so bad after all–hey, there’s not actually as much material to study as I thought. Life will feel pretty damn good, and you actually think you have a reasonable shot at getting an A. There’s light at the end of the tunnel.

Phase 4: Pity Party O’Clock

You take a break, go to the bathroom, and return only to find that you’ve hit a wall with the paper/studying and you’re tired as fuck. It’s around 12:30-1 AM, and while you’re maybe 2/3 to 3/4 of the way done, the mental block you’re experiencing could very well undo all that it is that you’ve been working towards. You get frustrated and so start walking it off until you run into a friend or at least a good acquaintance. Both of you are in extremely shitty shape, so you sit and start to talk about everything from how screwed you are to your life’s ambitions to your relationship woes to your theories on church and religion to the best place to eat off-campus to housing options for next year. Really, you get to learn a lot abou the other person during Pity Party O’Clock, so although you may be miserable about whatever it is you’re working on, relish the real human connection that you’re making here.

Phase 5: Sleep Drunk

It’s 2:30 AM and you recognize that you can’t keep putting off that last bit of work you have to do. You suck it up and give it your best effort, but at this point, you’re hoping you can scrape by with at least a C. Whereas it only took you 3-4 hours to complete the bulk of your work, it’s taking you anywhere from 5-6 hours to finish up the last piece. Part of the reason for the efficiency slump is that you’re tired out of your mind to the point where you are inebriated. All of your body reactions are slow and any attempts at wit or sarcasm from you fellow cohorts go straight over your head. Coffee doesn’t do shit for you…except make your stomach feel like shit. You labor on until the wee hours of the morning, when you finally finish only to stand at the reference desk and suffer a heart attack when the printer decides to stop running at 7 AM. At 9 AM you do the walk of shame to class to drop of your paper or take your exam.

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How to Pass Classes Without Being Addicted to Coffee

Sara Tahir — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 17:16:30 +0000

Coffee. The word is pretty much synonymous with college. Walking across the green to class, it’s virtually impossible to see anyone without a travel mug. Lining up at Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts is totally worth it over eating in the 30 minutes you have between classes. Before pulling an all-nighter in the library, it’s standard procedure to brew a tar-like blend to sustain you through your academic odyssey. Coffee is your life-force. It makes you who you are in college…strong enough to withstand sleep deprivation and absurdities galore.

Yet, given the unnatural amount that most college students consume, your coffee addiction could very well be killing you. According to the Mayo Clinic, the ideal amount of coffee is 200-300 mgs (2-4 cups…real cups, not thermoses). Anything more than that over a long period of time can lead to gastrointestinal issues, ulcers, anxiety, and insomnia (not the kind you were hoping for to get your paper done).

But, aside from the health risks, there are other reasons to cut the coffee out. 1) It’s pretty expensive, particularly if you’re making pit stops at Starbucks for Macchiatos. 2) The crash you experience post-breaking the seal is miserable and only makes you want to make a stronger cup. 3) It’s bad for your complexion, teeth, and breath. 4) It fucks up your tastebuds.

You might say it’s all worth it just to maintain your academic and social functionality, but what if there is another way…one that also doesn’t require the use of energy drinks or Ritalin?

Believe it or not, it is possible to exist in this world as a human being without coffee. My first year out of college when I was living in China, I had to totally forgo coffee because it was a rarity and difficult as fuck to find cheap. For me, giving up coffee was a big deal, particularly since I’d been consuming it on a regular basis since the age of 13 (and the reason why I’m only 5’4″). I’m not going to lie, I had some major headaches my first week off of coffee, and I had to supplement my intake of green tea with some Tylenol. But, honestly, once I got over that hurdle, it was a breeze and I could rest easy at night knowing that I wasn’t shelling out 80 yuan for a cup of coffee.

Also, for once I didn’t feel as though my life would end without consuming a cup of coffee. It was kind of scary how totally dependent on coffee I had become while in college, and it felt truly liberating to realize that I was the same reasonably intelligent and sociable person without that cup of coffee.

It might be a huge ordeal to quit coffee mid-semester, but remember, coffee in moderation is actually great for you. The key is making sure to stay the middle course. Try using some of these tricks to help keep you within that 2-4 cup range, so coffee won’t ruin your life:

1. Tea Time

After 2 PM, cut yourself off from the coffee and switch over to black tea. It’ll give you a similar boost, and it’s also so much better for you (fewer calories, more antioxidants, won’t corrode your stomach) and so much cheaper. Plus, you can easily transport it in your pocket, so if you start feeling the sleepies midway through a 3 pm lecture, you can always duck out for a cup of water, brew, and imbibe.

2. Exercise

Yes, counter-intuitive in some ways because if you have a real workout that pushes you, you’re going to feel a little tired and achey afterwards. But, to quote the iconic Elle Woods, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands.” That’s right, you can reach a point where exercise can replace your need for coffee to curb any murderous tendencies. Have you ever noticed how effortlessly you can accomplishing things when you’re in a good mood. Well, regular exercise will give you that natural high and build your stamina on top of it. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that it’s a great way to physically hash out any anxiety or stress you have while also keeping you looking good.

3. Put Your Contacts In

This is a weird one, but I swear it works. There’s something about putting two circular discs in your eyes that makes them open up and alert to the world around you. All of the colors are brighter and the lines are sharper. It’s like switching your TV from Low-Def to Hi-Def.

4. Carrot Juice

Carrot juice has long been touted as the key to good eyesight, bones and teeth, and liver, as well as helping to reduce the chances of getting many types of cancer, including breast and skin cancer. But, believe it or not, carrot juice is a great natural substitute for caffeine products because within seconds of taking a few gulps, your eyes open up almost immediately. Although I can’t vouch for the taste (personally, I detest it), at least you’re drinking something extremely healthy that’s also helping you to curb the caffeine addiction.

5. Napping

This is so key. Allowing yourself to sleep when you’re tired is probably the cheapest and easiest way to get you off of coffee. You don’t need to be awake until 3 AM every single night to get your work done. It’s all about efficiency and quite frankly, you’re probably doing your best working within a 3 hour time-frame. So why try to trudge through 8 hours of mediocre work, battling the sleepies with massive amounts of coffee, when you can nap for at least 2 of those hours and get all of your work done in 3 highly productive hours? Napping is also a great way to break up any writer’s block you have because you wake up with a fresh start. Consider it over that cup of coffee that only gets you half the way there.

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How You Know You’re Ready for Grad School

Sara Tahir — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 13:50:40 +0000

This is it. You’re in your senior spring semester or perhaps a post-grad who was duking it out in the real world. You took the GREs, laid the groundwork with a potential advisor, visited a couple of schools, and spent the fall honing your personal statement to the point of perfection. You filled out every mundane question about personal information, sprinted to the registrar’s office to get your transcript requests forms in, and hounded your professor about whether or not they got their recommendations in on time. You’ve spent a fairly large chunk of money on application fees and sacrificed hours of sleep obsessing over things you may have forgotten to do. And at the end of it all, you’re rewarded with that beautiful email with the title “Admission Decision Rendered” and a body that congratulates and welcomes you to the Graduate School at whatever institution.

This. is. IT. You did all of the work and put it in all that effort, and now you’re in! But, having an admissions committee decide that you’re a qualified candidate for their program doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re fully prepared to take on grad school. It’s unfortunate that the effort required to apply and be admitted grad school doesn’t equate to success at grad school. But, there are a few surefire signs that will help you know if you’re ready for the challenge:

1. The Application Process Didn’t Wear You Out

If the application process was insanely stressful and you hated every moment of it, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself. Applying to programs represents only a small modicum of effort compared to the amount of work you have to do in grad school. While you’re probably not going to be taking as many classes as you did as an undergrad, you will be spending a lot of time doing independent research that will require a great deal of self-discipline on your part to get it done. If writing a proposal or personal statement as part of your application process was the bane of your existence, you may want to reconsider grad school right at this moment and ask for a deferral. Just because you got in does not mean you have to attend right away.

2. You’re Dork-Excited to Study More

If you’re having/had the time of your life writing your thesis and you wake up at 7 AM every morning energized because you’re about to spend most of your day dwelling in the library stacks, you are more than ready for grad school. If you still salivate over course catalogues and experience that eager anticipation that was a hallmark during summer vacation before school restarted, you are more than ready for grad school. If you’re still going strong your senior spring and haven’t even remotely suffered from senioritis, you are more than ready for grad school. Pack those bags, sir or madam.

3. You Have a Legitimate Reason for Pursuing a Particular Program

This is key. As tempting as it may be to dodge a shitty job market by going to grad school for a couple of years, your lack of focus and purpose is going to be the death of you. Seriously, you will be bored out of your mind if you go to grad school just to kill some time. Plus, you’re wasting time you could spend doing something more interesting or even productive.

Yes, it’s scary as hell not having a clear career trajectory or path after college. Believe me, I know. I’ve been there. But, don’t go to grad school just because you’re afraid to take risks out in the real world and hate the fact that everyone around you seems to know what they’re doing.

A “legitimate reason” for going to grad school: to get further specialization in a given field, significant salary bump that comes from an advanced degree, strong interest in entering academia, required for a particular profession (lawyer, doctor, dentist, etc.), genuine intellectual interest, etc.

4. You’ve Got Financial Backing

Is the program covering your tuition cost? Do you have financial aid? Can you get a grant to fund your research? Is your undergrad debt under control? How much are your parents willing to cover? Will you be able to make enough money to pay back your loans relatively quickly? Don’t neglect these questions.

5. You Understand that Grad School is Different from Undergrad and are Okay With It

This is something you might be able to understand as a concept, but fully embracing and accepting it is a completely different story. Let me paint you two pictures. The one is as an undergrad–it’s conceivable to go out 4 days a week, skip all of your classes, show up for the final, and still get an A. You can do the reading or not and be as disorganized as conceivably possible, and it won’t really drastically affect your academic career. The other is as a grad student–you treat your studies as a 9 to 5 job, spend the bulk of your time researching, have to stay organized otherwise your advisor and cohorts will berate you for it, and grades are either meaningless or non-existent. You can’t just show up at the end of the semester. You have to be chipping away at it for semesters at a time and ultimately, you are accountable for everything that does (or does not) happen. If you fully get the gravity of the difference, then step up, but don’t kid yourself if you’re not okay with grad school not being College Part II.

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Sleep Paralysis: The College Curse

Sara Tahir — Sun, 03 Mar 2013 20:56:31 +0000

After a full night of working on my Lauren Slater paper for my Lying, Cheating, and Stealing seminar, I stumbled into my dorm room at about 1 pm, ready for an epic afternoon nap. Not even bothering to change into pjs, I took the bare effort of tossing my boots and sliding into bed, with my contacts still in my eyes. I tossed and turned for a bit, having reached the point where I was too tired to fall asleep. Thoughts of how much my paper sucked and how I never wanted to get out of bed because eventually I’d have to be confronted by a terrible grade drifted through my head until I finally fell asleep.

At some point the dorm fire alarm sounded, and I knew I had to get up and go outside. With great difficulty I managed to muster open a single eyelid, and I could hear the trampling sounds of several people walking down the stairs near my room. The alarm was still ringing, and as I looked around the room through blurry vision, I realized that I could not physically lift my head. Panic started to settle in as I realized that it was not just my head that I could not move, but my arms and legs were completely limp and all my mental efforts to move were not being executed by my limbs. I was wide awake, but my body was not, and I was trapped inside of it for what felt like hours. After panically reciting a few prayers, thinking I was about to die, I managed to somehow put my mind back to sleep, and the next time I woke up, I could fully move again.

This wasn’t the first time that I had experienced sleep paralysis. I could recall experiencing a similar sensation my senior fall of high school, but at the time I just assumed it was either a very lucid nightmare or just something I was mentally conjuring up before I’d actually wake up. It wasn’t until this horrifying fire alarm experience that I realized this “dream about being paralyzed” was actually happening and wasn’t a dream at all.

What is sleep paralysis?

Sleep paralysis is when your mind is in an active state of consciousness, but your body is still in a state of atonia, so you can’t physically move or even speak. Before it was recognized as a medical condition, cultures from East Asia to Africa to Japan to Europe found ways to attribute this occurrence to demonic forces pressing upon the body during sleep. In Arthur Miller’s The Crucible, references to incubus and succubus, various demons that would lie on top of humans, were made and possibly formed the basis of some of the accusations made during the Salem Witch Trials. Actually, a recent study found that 90% of Mexican adolescents interviewed described sleep paralysis as a “dead body climbed on top of me.”

Sleep paralysis really isn’t as scary as all that, but in the moment of experiencing total incapacitation, it is truly horrifying. Before I knew what it was, I would wake up shivering and crying, and I would have to turn on the lights and watch TV or read before I could fall back asleep. Fortunately, aside from the panic factor, there really is nothing harmful about sleep paralysis, and its worst it has some distant link to narcolepsy.

What causes it?

Sleep paralysis usually occurs as you fall asleep or as you wake up from sleeping. The causes vary, but most often it can be attributed to loss of sleep/changes in sleep patterns, stress, sleeping on your back, underlying mood disorders, narcolepsy, and even substance abuse. For me, I’ve usually found that it occurs either during moments of high stress or if I’m laying on my back while napping in the middle of the afternoon. The times it occurred most frequently were during my senior year of high school, junior and senior year of college, and my first year of law school, all of which were high-stress periods. Very few formal studies exist on the frequency of the occurrence of sleep paralysis among college students, but my bet is that it can get pretty high around exam time and most people don’t recognize what it is.

How to treat it:

There is no real way to treat sleep paralysis, but I’ve found that just having an awareness of what it is has helped reduce the panic factor when it does happen. At this point it’s been ingrained in my head that this is just a weird harmless thing like the hiccups, and I know to talk myself into going back to sleep when it happens. Initially, I’d get thrown into major panic mode, which only made the sleep paralysis worse. The key is to finding a way to relax so that your mind can go back to sleep and re-awake with your body.

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The TA Guidebook: How to Not Suck

Sara Tahir — Sun, 03 Mar 2013 18:58:10 +0000

At this point in the semester, in a post-midterms world, you’re probably wondering what the hell happened to severely impair your comprehension of whatever course you’re taking. Yeah, it’s true that you probably could have spent more time studying, but then again most people don’t feel as though they studied as much as they should have. It also would have helped not to be totally sleep deprived for the last 3 classes before the midterm and to have actually read some of the materials, instead of skimming.

But really, you can only blame yourself so much for the shit-show that was your midterm experience. On some level, your TA was probably to blame for misinforming you, emotionally and mentally draining you, and generally just wasting your time with bullshit one hour discussion sections. Unfortunately, there probably is no way for you as an undergrad to modify your current TA’s questionable methods of erudition. But, you can hope that your awful TA will read this post and start getting his/her act together (or at least you can anonymously send this to them)…and at the very least, if you’re in the process of applying to be a TA for next semester, you’ll at least have a cue.

1. Take it Somewhat Seriously

For the most part, working as a TA is a pretty sweet deal because all you have to do on your end is grade and lead a discussion section once a week, and in exchange you get paid, a resume-booster, and the opportunity to develop a relationship with a professor who could hook you up for the rest of your academic career. Honestly, if English undergrads were allowed to TA intro level classes at my college, I would have jumped at the opportunity in a heartbeat.

But, as much as it is awesome for you getting this gig, you have to remember that when you take on this job, you are responsible for ensuring the academic well-being of 12-20 simultaneously skeptical and highly impressionable college undergrads. It can’t be all about you, which is hard to do when you’re at college. So, make sure you arrive to the section you’re leading on time, you dismiss everyone on time, and that you’re actually prepared to lead the discussion. Don’t annoy your class by failing to understand and articulate the professor’s expectations and make sure you actually pass back assignments within a reasonable timeframe. You’re not a tenured professor yet, who can do whatever the hell they want and pass back midterms at 2 weeks after the end of the semester. Know your place in the academic food chain.

2. Nobody cares about your research

It stings, I know, especially if you’re a grad student TAing a class and the professor briefly mentions a topic you’ve been pouring over for months in a crowded corner in the grad student offices. But, if you’re TAing a survey course, odds are that your undergrads won’t be quite as interested in your obscure academic interests in early articulations of Marxist thought in Byzantium. So keep discussion of the professor’s lectures in connection with your own research to a bare minimum, and at most, whip out an allusion to your research in one-line every couple of weeks. Assume any interest from undergrads regarding your research is feigned, because quite honestly, it most likely is an attempt to enter your good graces for a grade bump.

3. Don’t be a hard-o

It would always amuse me my freshman year whenever I’d get higher marks on papers that my tenured professors would grade over the ones that the grad school TAs would grade. I totally get not wanting to have your professor think you’re a wimp, but there’s no reason to treat every paper you read from an undergrad as a masters’ dissertation, particularly if you’re TAing an intro level class. What TAs sometimes forget when they’re working with freshmen and sophomores is that they’re dealing with a bunch of newbies who are touching the material for the first time. Obviously, you shouldn’t be handing out A’s left, right, and center, but you also shouldn’t be “peer reviewing” your students’ papers because they are not your peers.

Also, make sure that if there are multiple TAs for the same class that you’re all on the same page. If the other TAs are mellower than you, you may find your class size shrinking week by week.

4. Call people out

C’mon, you know who’s done the reading and who’s just pulling things out of their ass. When I was a sophomore, there was this junior in my City Novels class who clearly had never read any of the books, or if he had, he was a total idiot and didn’t know what he was talking about. It used to drive my entire row in the lecture hall where we had section up a wall. Our TA was way too nice and polite and would patiently wait for him to finish his long ramblings that were total BS. What she really should have been doing was calling this mofo out every class so that someone with an actual contribution to make could speak. You know precisely who these BS artists are. Don’t cushion the blow with them. Shut them down so you don’t waste everyone’s time and so your class doesn’t hate you for facilitating this kid of BS.

5. Explain, don’t regurgitate

If I wanted to rehear the lecture from Thursday, I could just go online and find a university-sanctioned recording and replay it in the comfort of my own home. Your role as a TA should be to clarify and explain, not regurgitate the obscure language the professor used in the lecture hall. It’s bad enough that most of these discussion sections happen Friday morning, at which point everyone is either hungover or already in weekend mode. Dumb it down for us all in discussion section and then give us examples to deepen our understanding. That’s all we really ask of you.

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The Most Anticipated Movies of Spring ’13

Sara Tahir — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 18:12:20 +0000

The Oscars are set to air tonight and close out what has been a phenomenal fall and winter movie season. From blockbusters like Skyfall, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, and Les Miserables to the phenomenal political dramas like Argo and Lincoln to films with hyper-intelligent female characters like Silver Linings Playbook and Zero Dark Thirty, Hollywood definitely did something right and more people flocked to the movies than they have in 4 years.

Yet, at this point, you might have grown a little weary from all of these rather serious, thought-provoking films, and all you’re craving right now is a delicious popcorn movie. Late January to early March is generally when a famine of excellent movies occurs (maybe it’s Valentine’s Day that mucks it up, but I’m not sure), and so most of us are living off of reruns of Game of Thrones. Fortunately, blockbuster season is just around the corner, and this spring promises us the usual fill of action-adventure movies we so desperately crave around this time every year.

1. Star Trek Into Darkness – May 17th

After 4 years of pining for Chris Pine’s return as Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise, the wait is finally over. Prior to the screening of The Hobbit, a fairly lengthy trailer for this Star Trek sequel appeared that basically gave away the key points of the movie instead of teasing it. But, I can say this…from what I saw, this film looks even more visually stunning than the first and Captain Kirk definitely brings on the sass. Not being a Trekkie, I’m also personally pleased that the time bending alternate reality element of the first movie makes it so that all of the subsequent sequels won’t only appeal to diehard fans…us mere mortals can enjoy them as well. J.J. Abrams employed this plot device deliberately so that they could look to develop totally new plot lines that don’t require the original films as antecedents.

Some things to get you excited about this sequel is more Scotty and Kirk moments and Sherlock’s Benedict Cumberbatch as the main villain.

2. Man of Steel – June 14th

So I don’t know if you’ve heard of this guy, who’s kind of an up-and-coming writer. His name is Chris Nolan. He usually works with David S. Goyer and has done a few minor projects like Memento, The Prestige, Inception, and a somewhat popular Batman trilogy.

Just kidding.

Everything Chris Nolan touches generally turns to gold (or millions in box office revenue), and Man of Steel will certainly not prove to be an exception. If any of his past 5 movies are any indication, don’t count on your traditional run-of-the-mill superhero origins story. There will be twists and crazy allusions and of course, the dialog will have a measure of Nolan’s British wit. Granted, it won’t exactly be difficult to top the abomination that was Superman Returns, but a Nolan touch could turn the Superman franchise into his Indiana Jones equivalent.

Man of Steel features the Tudors‘ Henry Cavill, who I might add is very dreamy and definitely looks the part in all of the trailers so far. Interestingly enough, Lex Luthor will not be appearing as the villain in this film, but quite frankly, it’s probably for the best considering some of us still haven’t recovered from Kevin Spacey’s dubious performance in 2006.

3. The Great Gatsby – May 10th

Originally slated for release in December 2012, Baz Luhrman’s take on this Modernist classic got pushed to the spring season, probably so that it could stand out against all of the superhero flicks that dominate the spring and summer months. This marks the second time that Leonard DiCaprio is working with Baz after 1996′s Romeo + Juliet, which was a fairly successful modern adaptation of another literary classic. It remains to be seen if Baz can strike gold again with his definitively quirky style and unique in-lay of music. The casting is pretty solid on the whole, with the exception of Tobey Maguire as narrator, Nick Carraway. Personally, I have little faith that Tobey can pull off this iconic role, because in his prior roles, he’s never been able to master gaining the sympathy of the audience. Maguire may well be the rotten apple in what otherwise could be a good film.

4. Oz: The Great and Powerful – March 8th

It’s no secret that I absolutely despise James Franco for being a greasy, smug actor, whose star only rose because if his crazy ability to acquire a million academic degrees in a short span of time. That being said, Franco may have finally found a role similar to that of Harry Osborne where all he has to do is be his grotesque self. Franco plays Oscar Diggs, a hack of a circus magician, who finds himself swept away (literally) to the land of Oz, where the three witches, played by Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz, and Michelle Williams try to put him in his place. Even if the plot may end up being lacking, this film is sure to be a visually pleasing experience akin to watching Snow White and the Huntsman.

5. Iron Man 3 – May 3rd

Marvel did a good thing giving the Iron Man series a little bit of a time out by putting out The Avengers last year. It made us appreciate how awesome Tony Stark really and truly is compared to Thor and Captain America. Hopefully, the writers got their shit together for this sequel, and make the plot a little more compelling than Iron Man 2. Also, the addition of Guy Pearce will definitely help some, as he’s got that whole menacing thing down cold.

6. Jack the Giant Slayer – March 1st

Jennifer Lawrence’s ex-boyfriend wasn’t exactly off to a great start this year with Warm Bodies, but maybe Nicholas Hoult can redeem himself with Jack the Giant Slayer. In the last few years, the general trend seems to be that the new versions of childhood fairytale classics haven’t exactly lived up to the hype, albeit all are aesthetically pleasing and generally “pretty to watch in theaters.” We’ll see if Hoult can provide the exception to the rule with his performance as Jack. After all, Hoult is better known for his clever performance of the Beast in X-Men: First Class and his heart-wrenching performance as Marcus in About a Boy. Plus, it can’t hurt having Stanley Tucci and Ewan McGregor as supporting actors.

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5 Party Songs that Have Jumped the Shark

Sara Tahir — Sun, 17 Feb 2013 14:46:51 +0000

In my sophomore year of college, there were two songs that had to be played at every single party otherwise a riot would break out: (1) Flo Rida’s Low and (2) Kanye West’s Stronger. Both of these songs were everyone’s jam, and even the hipsters in their super skinny jeans and flannel shirts would attempt to dougie and get down low.

But, eventually you get to the point where as soon as you hear the first few bars of the song in question, you want to shove your fingers into your ears and run away screaming, “NaNaNaNaNa, I CAN’T HEAR YOU.” So it was with both Low and Stronger when they reached the saturation point of being overplayed. Both of songs needed to be stored away in the music vault for a time being, so their absence could make the heart grow fonder…or at least nostalgic. Now when the DJ throws on either of those tracks, some 5 years later, they become throwbacks that everyone responds well to.

I’m not saying that this will necessarily be the case with every overplayed song. For instance, I haven’t heard Shaggy’s Angel or Sisqo’s The Thong Song since my middle school dances in the early aughts. But, for now, these 5 Party Songs definitely need a time out…

1. Gangam Style – Psy

First off, this song does deserve some credit, because thanks to Psy’s ridiculous moves, boys are okay with dancing. Seriously though, as soon as this song comes on, boys from the ages of 3 to 30 react and start prancing around, without requiring any social lubricant to help them forget how foolish they look. I chaperoned a middle school dance not long ago, and the majority of the boys were actually out on the dance floor instead of sulking in a corner when this song came on!

Yet, after all of the parodies, the SNL sketch, and the clips of various important people “doing” Gangam Style, it’s become a bit too much. Even my out-of-touch-with-pop culture-dad knows what Gangam Style is, which means this song has definitely gone over the hill.

Although, disclaimer: I have a personal disdain for this song, because I resent not being able to do the side-shuffle, which is a lot harder than it looks.

Mitt Romney Style

2. We Are Young – Fun.

I feel personally responsible for unleashing Fun. onto the world. Last spring my friends and I went to see them at Lupo’s Heartbreak Hotel back when they were pretty much unknowns. Literally a few days after their performance in Providence, We Are Young started to get serious airplay on all of the top 40 stations and Fun. shortly thereafter booked an appearance on SNL. Yeah, you’re welcome.

But, alas, I fear as though the City of Providence may have opened up Pandora’s Box with this one. It is a good song, but it’s anthem-like quality does make it resound as a last call drinking song around the 200th listen. So for now, it’s probably best to tuck it away and bring it back in a couple of years time.

3. On the Floor – Jennifer Lopez (ft. Pitbull)

Guess what? This was never a good party song. Ever. The beat is terrible, Pitbull’s function in this song is totally unclear, and the words, OH MY GOD, the words:

I know you got it, clap your hands on the floor/And keep on rockin’, rock it up on the floor/If you’re a criminal, kill it on the floor/Steal it quick on the floor, on the floor

Don’t stop keep it moving, put your drinks up/It’s getting ill, it’s getting sick on the floor/We never quit, we never rest on the floor/If I ain’t wrong we’ll probably die on the floor

Why did we, as music listeners and party people, allow this shitty song to get as much airplay as it did? It was totally and completely irresponsible of us, and the only way we can rectify this grave error is by never listening to this song ever again. I’ve taken the steps to send an anonymous note to my Zumba instructor desperately asking her to stop using On the Floor as the warm-up song. Do your civic duty and throw your drink up onto the host at the next party you go to if this song starts playing.

4. We Are Never Getting Back Together – Taylor Swift

T. Swift is still my girl even though she’s been getting hella flak lately for whoring for lyrical inspiration. Really I could care less who Swifty does date and her motivations behind it (although, bitch better stay the hell away from JGL), but the songs that come out of her romantic trysts should at least be somewhat decent. We Are Never Getting Back Together, aside from being a super long and wordy title, just isn’t a good song. The refrain is just mind-numbingly painful to listen to, the way any Alvin and the Chipmunks cover of song is. To top it off, it is played everywhere and the club remixes of the song just make it 10 times worse. So Swifty, take a mulligan with this one, and graciously let us shove this track in the vault for all of eternity.

5. Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen

What Gangam Style did for guys with dancing, Call Me Maybe did for girls in terms of enabling them to be bold and put themselves out there with their romantic pursuits. Gone were the days when a girl just had to patiently wait for a guy to express interest first by asking for her number. No more! She could just present a card with her number and the line “Call Me Maybe?” written out, and the reference to the song alone would seal the deal.

But alas, “Call Me Maybe” has become a bit of a cultural cliche after nearly a year of airplay. Having lost its effect as a cute pick-up line, the song and all things associated with it induce eye rolls now more than the exchange of numbers. So it’s time to put this track to rest.

Carly Rae, The Roots, and Jimmy Fallon

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Why It’s Okay to Like Valentine’s Day

Sara Tahir — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 03:26:11 +0000

It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, Valentine’s Day has come to create a certain acute anxiety for every individual over the age of 14. In fact, it’s become something of a fashion to exhibit total unadulterated hatred at all things related to Valentine’s Day. Even if you’re going to be a participant in all of the pageantry, you have to be an unwilling participant that is begrudgingly doing the motions. I know people who relish in stressing out over what to do or buy for a significant other. To this behavior I say, NO MORE.

Do you remember back in elementary school when everyone would get so jazzed as Valentine’s Day approach? Seriously though, everyone would be psyched about what kind of movie-themed cardboard cards they were giving to their classmates, as well as the special confection-related surprise their teacher was bound to have in store. Plus, there were an abundance of art projects you could do leading up to Feb. 14th. It didn’t matter if you couldn’t draw for shit, because the simple act of creating a heart was therapeutic in and of itself, and your mom was guaranteed to call your macaroni heart a work of art.

Very few people in the 18-25 age bracket are excited about Valentine’s Day anymore. For most, it means a demarcation between singletons and relationshipites, a symbol of mass consumerism and the monetization of love, and a pressurized gauge of your love for a particular person as a quantity relative to other couples’ love, which has been exacerbated by social media. But, it doesn’t have to be this way. If Valentine’s Day is a shallow holiday devised by an American greeting card company, why does your appreciation of it have to be complicated by depth and inner meaning? Why is it wrong to love an apparently superficial holiday for superficial reasons? Let me tell you this…it’s not wrong at all. And here’s why…

1. The confection

There are only two days in the year when you can truly digest all of the sugar you can get your hands on guilt-free: Halloween and Valentine’s Day. Why you wouldn’t take advantage of the opportunity to consume a red velvet cupcake with buttermilk frosting and heart-shaped sprinkles on top is beyond my comprehension. You are clearly a fool if you’re going to sit around and mope because no one got you candy. Seriously, all you have to do is walk into any pharmacy and the sales rack with all of the Valentine’s Day candy smacks you as soon as you enter the joint. Yesterday I went to Target to buy candy to bribe my fifth-graders to actually be quiet during the yoga elective I teach, and the guys in the red shirts were basically giving this confection away for free. Seriously, just eat a cookie. It’ll remind you why Valentine’s Day is great.

2. It’s actually about celebrating love as a general idea

You know those terrible tasting, chalky candy hearts that kind of look like Tums? Have you ever noticed that most of them say things like “Love” on them and not “Long-Term Committed Romantic Relationship”? That’s right. It’s not just about romantic love, but really all kinds of love–love of family, friends, pets, and other worldly pleasures. When I was in college, I’d always gladly accept the roses that College Hill for Christ would pass out on Valentine’s Day to everyone under Faunce Arch, because, and I quote them, “Jesus loves me.” As far back as I can remember, my dad has given my mom and me a bouquet of flowers every Feb. 14th. And, in the past 8 years, some of my most memorable and enjoyable Valentine’s Day’s have been spent with friends celebrating our friendship, more so than any V-day plans I had with a special someone. The truth of the matter is that we all of have people in our lives that love, and Valentine’s Day is one of those days that is supposed to remind us of how awesome it is to love and be loved.

3. It’s a great day to watch great movies

Were it not for the fact that I know I’m going out the night of Valentine’s Day because I have Friday off from work, I would definitely watch any of the great movies that have ever been made about love. For me, because I am a slightly twisted soul, those great movies about love would include (500) Days of Summer, Gone with the Wind, Before Sunset, Casablanca, Midnight in Paris, Good Will Hunting, and now Silver Linings Playbook. Actually, I would have to say for this Valentine’s Day, screw that Die Hard sequel and that Nicholas Sparks chick flick, and go and see Silver Linings. Honestly, one of the best movies I’ve seen in years, and it really just gets you thinking and laughing, two pretty good traits for any movie. If you’re too lazy to pop in a DVD or find a flick online, channel surfing is always an option. Any number of great chick flick options are readily at your hands, from You’ve Got Mail to While You Were Sleeping to It’s Complicated (Meryl Streep in a love triangle! c’mon…), you really can’t have a bad day. If all else fails, the Oklahoma City Thunder will be playing the Miami Heat.

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