Gossip Girl

It is widely accepted that Men and Women are from completely different spectrums of the Universe. We [women] don’t understand you [men], and you [men] don’t understand us [women].  And yet, as the age-old saying goes: “opposites attract.”

Women have notoriously developed a name for themselves as bitchy, irritable, and [the oh-so-commonly-used] “over-reacting” creatures.

Why, you ask, do we do this? I have put together a short[but very detailed] list , for all of you men seeking self-improvement OR reason for our [so-called] irritable episodes and emotional outbursts.

But please be advised: if you are looking for a candy-coated, denial-infused article, then this may not be for you.

Men, please bear in mind that this article is not meant to be an excuse, but rather an explanation of why we do the things we do.

And Feminists, if you get offended by my explanations of things, I will have it put-out-on-the-table right now that this DOES NOT apply to every female, nor every relationship out there.

I would like to dedicate this article to all of my guy friends, many of whom have dated “crazy bitches”, my father, who is miraculously still [happily] married to my mother [bless-her-heart], and to my loving boyfriend, who has put up with my “crazy bitchiness”, too many times to count!

Read ‘em and weep…

1. The most simple (and most frustrating) explanation of all: [You don't always see our side of the story].

Yes, It really is that simple. Women may be intensly emotional and often too-quick-to-assume, but I can tell each-and-every one of you right now: If you give us a chance, you will find that we can be incredibly reasonable.

It is pretty obvious that men are the more logical and simple of the two sexes. But whoever said women are higher-up on the “stubborn” totem-pole was seriously mistaken.

I don’t know how this happens, but women often end up being the one’s to apologize.

 EVEN WHEN THEY [the woman] ARE THE ONE WHO EXPRESSED THEIR HURT FEELINGS [IN THE FIRST PLACE].

We [generally] DO NOT say how we feel to attack you; we say how we feel so we can [attempt to] fix whatever problem or issue caused that feeling.

IMPORTANT:

I DO NOT blame men in any way-shape-or-form for having disdain towards romantic altercations; but I can tell you right now that women hate it just as much [if not more] than men do. Men, if your woman is trying to tell you how she feels, just listen. DO NOT take it as a personal attack and rewrite her words into meaning something far more complex than what it is.

Helpful Hints:

• [we tend to rehearse and rewrite our own words (over-and-over again), just to make sure we do not provoke any hurt feelings in you].

• Even when we are mad at you, we are more concerned about fixing the problem.

• Most women hate fighting with a passion.

• Its exhausting.

2. Women prefer instant gratification.

Talk to any woman you know, and I can almost gaurentee that she will have a [relationship-related] tale-to-tell in which she wanted to talk. And he did not.

Lets take that one step further: He would not.

Men, as annoying as it must be to [try to] deal with us when we are acting like irrational fireballs of bitchiness, I promise you, you will save yourself [& your girl] an unimaginable amount of time and energy.

Ignoring your woman, or putting the situation aside [for later] only gives her that much more time to brew the bubbling pot of anger and assumptions that has already taken root in her mind.

Put the fire out before it grows. [Thats all we (women) want, anyways].

IMPORTANT:

ONE OF THE BIGGEST MISTAKES people make [both male & female], is pursing a battle via text.

• Texting DOES NOT count as talking.
• Tones and meaning can easily be misunderstood via text.
• Once it is signed, sealed, sent, and delivered, it is “official”.

• You cannot take back something that is RIGHT THERE, in living color, your very own words.
• Wating for a text during and argument is stomache-churning.

• Just pick up the phone and talk it out.

3. Women say things in the heat of the moment: [things we usually don't mean].

Guys, how many times have you heard [something along the lines of] “you’re an asshole”? How many of those times, post anger, has your girl told you she didn’t mean it? My point exactly! And how many of those times, has she told you that she said those things “out of anger”? Again, need I say more?

Now, that DOES NOT mean that it is OK for your girlfriend to become verbally abusive with you every time you have a fight.

However, on a side note, I will say that women who use those “un-lady-like” terms in their defense are generally using them as an expression of their distaste for the situation, not you [specifically].

And to make things clear, gentlemen, women don’t just say these things and then have a clear conscience afterwards. It is very likely that even once you’ve said “I forgive you”, they will be beating themselves up internally.

If she tells you she is [sincerely]sorry, there is a 99.9% chance that she is truly sorry.

Again, that is not justification. Simply explanation.

4. Men and Women think differently [*its called compromise*].

When it comes to relationships, there should never be such a thing as “winning” or “losing“. All people are designed and raised with different oppinions, values, and thresholds. It is what makes us unique, but sometimes can be the cause of disagreement.

For Example: Just because you dont care is she has guy friends, does not mean that she will not care if you have girlfriends.

Now, there are some loop-holes to this predicament. If your friendship with said girl pre-dates your relationship with your girlfriend, with NO romantic history what-so-ever, then there should not be a problem. Also, it doesn’t hurt to have your girlfriend meet [& even befriend] your girl friends.

But be advised, if you have had intimate relations with a girl friend, that is probably all your girlfriend is going to see when she looks at her. Which means that, by default, she will not approve. [Realistically speaking though, would you wan't your girlfriend hanging out with a guy she has gotten intimate with just for fun? Probably not.]

To make things even more complicated, lets bring up the sensitive subject of… Ex-girlfriends [as friends].

Women will seriously turn this into a big, fat, catch-22. Are you ready?

1. It goes without saying that if you are just friends with your ex-girlfriend, then you should have no problem with her meeting your [current] girlfriend.
2. If you show that you are ok with your [current] girlfriend meeting the just friends ex, it is pretty likely that your girlfriend won’t really want to meet her anyways. [Simply stated: it really is the thought that counts].
3. If your ex is texting and/or calling you on a regular basis, it is going to annoy your [current] girlfriend. & if your ex can’t understand why, then she is a hypocrit. I promise you, the second her [current] boyfriend gets regular texts/calls from HIS ex, she is not going to be a happy camper.                                                                                                                                                                                                  
• EX-girlfriends: put yourself in their shoes.

With all of that having been said: this is where compromise comes in. There is no better way for your [current] girlfriend to become more comfortable with an idea, person, or situation, than to introduce her to it.

Helpful Hints:

• There is a 99% chance [if you are in a healthy relationship, at least], that it is not YOU that your girlfriend doesn’t trust, but rather the girl friend or ex girlfriend who she has reservations about.

I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH:

• There is also a 99% chance that your girlfriend thinks you are the most amazing man on earth [duh].

• The way we see it, those girls probably see those amazing qualities we love about you, as well.

• HENCE: WHY WE DONT TRUST THEM!

Like I said, if you would just let us explain, it would make more sense.

If you got a good group of girls together, they could write their very own version of the dictionary, when it comes to relationships. All in all, we mean well. What it comes down to is this: the [good] girlfriends want nothing more but happiness and stability, as often as humanly possible. The [good] girlfriends think the world of their men, and want nothing more than to the absorb some of that compassion that draws her to him.

Women are complex.

Women are emotional.

But women are also loving, caring, and [if she isn't the village whore] loyal.

Just remember, she probably means well… probably;)

Stay Rational, Gentlemen!

& if anyone out there feels the need to write the-guys-side-of-the-story on this one, by all means, PLEASE DO!

I’m sure us ladies could use the insight.

The post 4 Things Men Should Know About [Altercations With] Women appeared first on The Campus Companion.

Related posts:

1. Why Women Like @ssholes…Or Do They?

The Girl Next Door

I’ve heard it upon good authority in recent times that “good guys finish last”.
Well good guys, this one goes out to you!

Women… we are complicated, emotional, and demand respect and equal rights.

So why are so many of us falling into the common category of “girls who date bad-boys”?

I believe that I have [through my own experiences and observation] found a few ideas that answer this frustrating predicament.

1) BAD BOYS HAVE REPLACED THE OLD IDEAL OF “HANDSOME” 

And yes, we can thank the media for that. Think back to any movie you have ever seen: was there a single unattractive “bad boy” or “big shot”? Were any of the “nerds” sexy as hell?

Yeah, yeah, you’re a guy, and you don’t “judge” other men.
Just ask your girl friends, they’ll tell you.

2) THE AGE OLD “I-WANT-WHAT-I-CAN’T-HAVE” COMPLEX

If that wasn’t self-explanatory, let me elaborate:

Yes, it is easy to land an @sshole. However, landing an @sshole is not as easy as keeping an @sshole.[this applies to keeping them faithful & keeping them interested]. THAT’S RIGHT! The worse they treat [certain] women, the more [certain] women want to please them.

Why? To prove that they are good enough, when in reality they should be walking away to meet a guy who treats them better than that.

In this case, you [the nice guy] may want to move-on. This is a vicious circle that you simply don’t want to get caught up in [until the girl "sees-the-light", of course. It really is just a matter of maturity and realization of self-worth].

3) THEY THINK THEY AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE NICE GUYS

Indeed, many girls suffer from “low self-esteem”. Thus, they settle for the guys that treat them poorly, because that’s what they think they deserve. This is quite possibly the most common form of [what I like to call] “A.H. Syndrome” that I have seen through observation.

Have you ever met a girl who was beautiful, smart, and sweet?
Was she dating an @sshole?
Then DING-DING-DING, number 3 may be your explanation!

4)  THIS IS THE LAST AND MOST SIMPLE EXPLANATION I’VE FOUND FOR THIS EPIDEMIC

THEY HAVE NEVER DATED A NICE GUY.

It really is that simple. Girls underestimate nice guys. “Nice” does not mean “ugly”, or [the more common concern of] “pansy”.

But for some reason, the current-college-girl-generation does not see that.

Another thing that many in the current-college-girl-generation fail to see is that there are PLENTY of nice AND handsome young men. They are too busy being “charmed” [or as I like to call it, "scammed"] by the good looking @ssholes that seem to have been in abundance since puberty.

One of the most valuable things that I have learned [and can only hope other women have learned] in college, is that Nice Guys>Bad Boys.

• Nice guys are sweeter.
• Nice guys are often smarter.
• And nice guys are more likely to make for a life-long companion than bad boys.

SOME CONCLUSIONS TO THIS COMPLEX PROBLEM

The Girl Next Door

GIRLS: Try yourself a nice guy. I promise you, they are just as good [BETTER...WAY BETTER] than bad boys.

& NICE GUYS: keep-on-keepin’-on. And if a girl dismisses you based on the simple fact that you are “nice” ["not-a-bad-boy"], then she clearly is not worth your time. I will however, leave you with a helpful tip:

THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN A NICE GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE A BAD BOY.

So, in conclusion…
If you are feeling really hopeless, or are ready for a change:
challenge yourself with a new make-over; and watch your romantic life grow!

The post Why Women Like @ssholes…Or Do They? appeared first on The Campus Companion.

Related posts:

1. What Women REALLY Want
2. That’s what HE said…really.