Case In Point: Even Just Exercising By Walking Will Make You Live Forever (See Above Fig.)

Believe it or not, walking is some of the best exercise people can get. This article is about how to trick yourself into walking a shit-ton.

Sometimes people get bogged down with responsibilities to the point where they monumentalize each subsequent task on their “To-Do” list.  When this happens, you look at what you are expected to do and it seems much more imposing than it is.  This method makes it so that you cannot rationalize that your visit to the gym is an actual responsibility, and makes it seem less like a “task” and more like a nonchalant, no commitment necessary break from your day.

How To Get it Done

Step 1:

Get really bored.

Step 2:

Decide that you want to watch T.V.

Step 3:

Decide that you should go to the gym and watch tv while walking on the treadmill….no more, and no less. Convincing yourself to walk on a treadmill and watch tv should be easy unless you are REALLY REALLY lazy. It is important in this part to tell yourself that you will not do any more than just walk, so that you can definitively get yourself out the door.

Step 4:

Grab your ipod, and head to the gym. (The Ipod will come in later).

The Fine Print

NOW, depending on how you feel on the particular day you have THREE options when you arrive at the gym. The presence of options is critical to being able to consistently trick yourself using this method.

Option 1:

You can continue with the original plan and just walk on a treadmill and watch tv.

Option 2:

You can muster up additional discipline and go in and do a more rigorous exercise regimen.

Option 3:

You can say “screw-it” all together, and just pop in your earbuds and either walk home or just continue walking around some more before returning.

No matter which option you choose, you have gotten a little bit of exercise. Unless of course your gym is no more than 100 meters away, in which case you really didn’t do much at all.  BUT, chances are, most of the time you will actually end up just doing an actual exercise regimen.

WHY THIS METHOD WORKS:

When considering going to the gym from afar, the perceived difficulty of going to the gym and exercising is much greater than the actual difficulty. By telling yourself you aren’t going to actually exercise you eliminate the ability to rationalize how much effort it takes. You replace the perceived difficulty with effortlessness.  This way, once you are already at the gym, getting yourself to do a few sets is much easier.

Undoubtedly, sometimes you will choose to just go home, but by doing so you perpetuate the ability to take a no strings attached perspective on the gym, and on your exercise regimen.

NOTE: for people that NEED structure this may not work, but by eliminating structure you eliminate the stress and mental debilitation that might come with expecting yourself to consistently and regularly exert yourself.

The post Boredom and The Art of Tricking Yourself Into Exercising appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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One would assume that intelligence would have a perfect negative correlation to the number of phones lost. However, after a number of phones being lost, and with a rich father, it could only be conjectured that the person losing the phones is secretly just trying to keep up with the ever increasing pace of technology by having their father buy them a new one every month.

Right? They would have to be smart right? I mean, they get all the good paying jobs with lots of responsibility right out of college…

#nepotism #wearedoomed

The post The “Lost My Phone” Index appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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If you understand the truth of this picture you’re on your way to understanding women. Or at least as much as one can.

The post Male and Female Turn-Ons Comparison – Life Explained appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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2. What is a Quarter-Life Crisis?
3. 5 Ways to Turn a College Apartment Into a REAL Apartment

This is a rundown of college sex lists that have been sent to us from a variety of individuals. They all have similarities, and it is interesting to dissect how people chronicle their sexual histories. Below are some of the more interesting lists that have been submitted. If you have one you would like to submit anonymously you can do so at the end of this post.

SEX LIST #1 – LEGAL PAD

Not very exciting, but nonetheless this sex list seems fairly efficient. This guy has his sex list organized by year, name, and a simple good /bad rating scale.  It’s not like he has many people of whom he has to keep track, but I guess he found it appropriate to make the hash marks at the top. He is either a law student, or he just really needs to upgrade his paper to the normal college-ruled white. Or for God’s sake, write your sex list somewhere that not everyone can see it.

We really enjoyed the way he differentiated the two Jessica’s. How considerate of him. That extra initial really helps out.

SEX LIST #2 – RED LIGHT GREEN LIGHT?

This sex list only made our list because not only did the girl name one of the guys “Mike #2,” but she also altered her entire rating scale because this guy sucked so badly. At least she ended on a positive note, with Jake earning himself 2 stars under the “Yes” category. Should we assume that “Yes” indicates that she’d sleep with him again?

SEX LIST #3 – HAHA, BLACK JACK

It took us a while to figure this one out when it was sent to us. This sly bastard is ACTUALLY using the Black Jack scale for his sex list. From what we can tell the year is on the left, the initials of the girls he’s (we assume it’s a guy) slept with are in the middle, and their blackjack scores are on the right.

This guy, judging by the appearance and content of his sex list, obviously plays way too much online poker. He is probably a computer nerd who enjoys puzzles and riddles, and he desperately needs to get out more. There is a reason this list is so short.

SEX LIST #4 – CONSUMER REPORTS OF SEX?

This was by far one of the most amusing submissions of all the sex lists we received, and we find it hilarious to analyze.

I’m just going to take a shot in the dark and say that this girl either aspires to work at Consumer Reports or she already works there. Her rating scale is identical to the one that Consumer Reports uses to rate snow blowers, coffee machines, and cellphones. If you don’t believe me, check it out here.

There are the hearts on the left that probably indicate that she loved (or at least really liked) the guy. Then she immediately juxtaposes her little hearts with a 1-12 scale of how large the guys’ penises are. Josh is packing some heat.  She goes on to rate each guy by foreplay, sex, after sex, follow up, and overall performance.

We are dying to know why Kyle is a “Fucking Asshole”. We can only imagine what earned him those 5 black holes of death.  It probably didn’t help him following an act like Chris.

SEX LIST #5 – TATTOO ON THE NECK

Creative and informative. It kind of reminded us of all of the rapists and murderers that get tattoos of hearts and teardrops to signify the individuals they’ve raped and murdered. But hey, whatever gets the job done, right?

SEX LIST #6 – GOOD Ol’ BED POST

This guy avoided the obvious cliché of putting notches on his bedpost by…. well he didn’t.  Obviously this guy had fun in college and we wouldn’t put it past him to be on daredorm or some other college porn site.

SEX LIST #7 – EXCEL? REALLY?

It’s cocky, it’s nerdy, and informative. We have a feeling this guy is in pursuing some kind of business degree, probably finance. He’ll likely fit right in with the arrogant, shameless, opportunists inhabiting Wall Street these days. 2009 seemed like a good year until the last quarter where the bottom dropped out.

SEX LIST #8 – THIS GUY HAS TOO MUCH TIME

Moleskine should change its slogan to “Official notebook of the college sex list” because we’ve gotten more sex list submissions using Moleskine than anything else. This person seems to have chronicled their entire sexual history rather than just people they’ve slept with. They have K=kiss?…. H=handjob?… B=blowjob?… and F=Fuck?… and A=Anal? Also note that there are a couple lines that contain double entries, which we can only assume means that their was some kind of threesome occurring. This guy / girl has way too much time and needs to focus on things other than their sex life.

SEX LIST #9 – POT STICKERS

We have to applaud this individual’s creative use of misdirection. Who in a million years would have looked for a college sex list in a note titled “Pot Stickers”?  Perhaps one would expect to find a delectable Chinese recipe passed down from generation to generation, but definitely not a hot, steamy list of sex partners.  We like the casual use of the word “again”. Does this mean that it is the same girl, or perhaps just another Rachel undeserving of a last name initial? How much time must have elapsed for Rachel to count “again” as an entirely different human being? This is all conjecture, but we really want to know.

SEX LIST #10 – SOMEONE DID SOME EXPERIMENTING

SEX LIST #11 – KEEPING A LIST PAYS OFF

This sex list looks like it has been crumbled up and likely thrown in the trash. As explained by the person who sent it to us, this was their sex list until they got herpes. We are very apologetic, and we would never wish an STD on anyone. However, it sometimes pays to keep a sex list when you need to contact all of your previous sexual partners. Be careful everyone… STD’s really do exist.

 SEX LIST #12 – PUNKERSLUT

This girl (we assume it’s a girl) must listen to a lot of Paramore based on how she chose to illustrate her list of sex partners. This list looks very similar to Paramore’s Riot album. We can’t decide if each individual “sex” is someone she has had sex with, or if each “sex” is a specific time she / he has had sex. As can be seen, there are little clusters of similar “sex” words that would suggest the latter explanation. Additionally, we like to think the way the “sex” was illustrated on the card indicates what the sex was like in real life. There are some that are angry, some smooth and swirly, others small and multitudinous, and others that look robotic and jagged. Also, some of the “sex” is larger than the others. One of them even looks like the Hitler SS symbol. Did she have sex with a Neo-Nazi or something? We’ll never know.

CONCLUSIONS:

So we have come to quite a lot of conclusions so far. These are some of our more insightful ones.

• Moleskine Notebooks needs to change its slogan to “Official Notebook of the College Sex List”
• Consumer Reports should look into hiring the chick who wrote sex list #4
• It pays to keep a list when you find out you have herpes and need to contact your partners.
• The Kinsey Institute really needs to re-evaluate their sex statistics on college students.
• People are slutty.

[sws_red_box box_size="600"] DISCLAIMER: Some of these sex lists have been altered or changed in order to protect the identities of those that submitted them. [/sws_red_box]

[sws_box_with_close box_size="600" close_button="sws_grey_close" color_box="sws_grey_box" rounded_corners="0"]

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RESOURCES:

• http://acidcow.com/pics/13745-college-girl-sex-list-42-pics.html
• http://deadspin.com/#!5652280/the-full-duke-university-fuck-list-thesis-from-a-former-female-student/gallery/42

The post College Sex Lists, What’s Yours Look Like? appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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THE CAMPUS COMPANION, INC. DOES NOT ENDORSE OR ENCOURAGE THE USE OF THE INFORMATION PRESENTED HEREIN FOR ANY FELONIOUS OR OTHERWISE ILLEGAL USE. [/sws_box_with_close]

Believe it or not making novelty identification cards is incredibly easy, and all things said and done it is also pretty inexpensive.  In fact, if you happen to have the right printer, or you can convince your parents to buy one for you before you leave for college, then all it will cost you to make up to 100 cards is about $30.  The cards look and feel great, and with some fancy design work in Adobe Photoshop or Fireworks you can make anything from photo IDs for a university club or a job, to fake press badges.  With this technique, the right attitude, and a silver tongue you can give yourself credibility anywhere, and can often garner loads of free merchandise, free food, and all kinds of other swag.

You Will Need:

• An Epson Artisan 50, R280 or R260 Printer
  • R280
  • Artisan 50
  • R260
• An ID print tray
  • ID Tray at Amazon.com
• Inkjet Compatible PVC Cards (teslin)
  • Cards at Amazon.com
• Epson R260 driver (if using the Artisan 50)
  • R260 Driver at Epson.com
• A Design Program (Adobe products work best)
• An ID position Print Template
  ID Print Template Download (For Fireworks or Photoshop) (Right Click and Save the .PNG file)

R260 Driver Installation Instructions When Using Artisan 50 or R280 Printers:

Step 1: First, install your printer using the Aritsan 50 Driver.  Make a note of which Port your device is plugged into based on where the Driver installs (this will most likely be USB0001).

Step2: Run the R260 install.  The Install Wizard will ask if you’d like the device automatically detected; DO NOT AUTOMATICALLY DETECT.

Step3: Install to the same port as the Artisan 50, onto your printer.  It will most like be USB0001

Step 4:Complete the installation. Note: When using the R260 Driver to print, the dialog will not detect Ink Levels…it is for this reason that you should still install the Drivers that come with your printer.

Installing R260 Driver Graphic Tutorial

Troubleshooting Port Issues Graphic Tutorial

Designing an ID:

When designing an ID in Photoshop or Fireworks it is important to make sure you use proper dimension which are 3.37”  in width, and 2.13” in height (8.560cm x 5.398cm).  Further, the best way to go about preparing any ID is to use a template found online.  Download any generic ID card, paste it into the background, and begin to copy its elements.  Match the text, borders around photos, photo opaque or watermark positioning, and more.  Soon you will have a very nice looking ID.  All you need to do now is save it as a .JPG, copy it into the “Print Template”, align the image accordingly, and finally PRINT!!

Make sure to use the proper print settings though!

Printer Settings:

Step 1: Select the Epson Stylus Photo R260 Series to Print from.

Step 2: Click the “Properties” Button

Step 3: Select “Best Photo” for your quality.

Step 4: Select CD/DVD as your printing “TYPE”.  Note: It is important to select “TYPE” before “Source”…Doing these in reverse yields an Error.

Step 5: Select CD/DVD as your printing “SOURCE”.

The Final Outcome:

The Actual ID is not done justice by the photo

The post How to Make Novelty ID Cards appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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Do you feel bad about selling people Adderall, or at least enabling their illegal use of the drug without a prescription?

Depends on who I’m selling it to. Additionally, I make sure not to sell to anyone I haven’t counseled on the effects of the drug. I especially don’t sell to people that are on other medications I’m not familiar with. I take cautionary steps to ensure that the drug won’t have any adverse D2D interactions.

I absolutely don’t sell  to anyone under the age of 18, I don’t sell to people more than twice a semester,  and I cut people off if they indicate in any way that they don’t have control over themselves.  I like to think I regulate the drug more thoroughly than the doctors in this country actually do, but that’s probably pushing it.

How much do you make a semester when you sell Adderall?

I make A LOT. However, the total amount varies by semester, when I’m selling it, and how much access I have to supply.

I charge $5 a pill when demand is steady and predictable, and when demand spikes during finals and midterms I sell the drug at an increased price in order to drive down demand (thank you economics).

Typically I will make $2000 – $5000 a semester.  I get my Adderall from about 13-17 different individuals. Each of them supplies anywhere from 30-90 pills of varying strengths and release mechanisms. I have everything from 5 mg immediate release to 30 mg extended release, and many more.  I also have generic amphetamine salts, Vyvanse, Ritalin, Concerta, and other study drugs available. It all depends on when my sources get their prescriptions and what they are willing to sell to me.

for those that are doing the math. If I continue to sell Adderall throughout my college experience that is anywhere from $16,000 to $40,000 in sales.

Where do you get your Adderall?

Well, I don’t have a prescription myself. I told the doctor I didn’t like it, and I wanted to stop taking it. The sad thing is that it was mostly true. Yeah it helps me do my work, but not in the way it claims. It simply speeds me up so I can get it done fast. Then I crash and I’m useless for 6 hours.  I’d just bump if that were what I were shooting for.  People always say, “Well doesn’t that mean that you shouldn’t have a prescription if that’s the way it impacts you?”, and I always reply “If that’s the case probably about 3 /4 of the people that are on Adderall shouldn’t be taking it.

Anyways, maintaining focus,  to answer your question I get my enormous stash of Adderall from the overly prescribed masses that don’t take it. I pay them for the insurance subsidized Adderall prescriptions (so they make some extra money), and then I sell it to college students at varying prices over the course of the semester.

 

What are some of the ways you’ve seen Adderall being abused?

I’ve seen some crazy uses of Adderall.  Everything from college students snorting the drug to far more creative and scary uses.

I really don’t know what to say about college students snorting the drug. I just think they look foolish when they blow their noses and everything is blue or orange.

The scariest way I’ve seen Adderall used was at a house party. Some students  were crushing up their pills and putting them in a a huge vat of jungle juice. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I didn’t want any part of it so I left. If they were putting Adderall in the jungle juice I didn’t want to know what else was being put in it. Those are the type of people I avoid hanging out with and selling too.  Oh, They were also nestling individual pills into the fruit snack gushers in the manner a human would put medication into snausages for dogs. Kind of humorous when you look at it like that?  But, then you remember how many people could potentially be hospitalized for drinking too much, because the stimulant effect of the drug masks the depressant properties of the alcohol.

 

So aren’t you worried about getting caught with all of your extra cash?

“Ok, so I admit, the money I earn from selling my Adderall isn’t paying my rent, tuition, and power bills directly. Instead I use that money to buy things that don’t leave a paper trail. I spend it on all of the miscellaneous things I can buy with cash. Rent, Tuition, and Power bills leave a paper trail. Buying a bag of bread at the corner store with a $5 bill doesn’t leave any paper. “

 

What has been your most controversial sale?

I sold to a teacher once. An adjunct teacher, and after I was out of their class, but it was a teacher nonetheless.  I also sell to a number of medical students that I know, who should probably know better, but are looking for a way to compete.

Don’t be mistaken. I’m not selling the drug to young children, I’m not selling the drug to the uninformed. I know that’s the point you are trying to get at, but the reality is that most of the people I sell to are adults encumbered and burdened by ever increasing competition, the expectation of success at a young age, and more.

Do you Sell other drugs, or is it just Adderall?

I don’t run around with a suitcase of drugs that would rival the likes of  fear and loathing, but I do sell a variety of other study drugs.  I don’t have any urge to sell other illegal drugs. I just want to pay off my student loan debt.

If I can sell Adderall to rich overly entitled students that are looking for an easy way to succeed academically, and in the process put myself through school debt free then i’m going to do it. Hard truth.

What’s your calling card?

I don’t have a calling card. If I did I wouldn’t tell you. I try to keep everything low key. I have heard of people selling them in used pez dispensers, hallowed out bic pens, and smarties wrappers. All creative uses, but very stupid.

Do you have any other thoughts on the Drug?

It’s cocaine / meth, or at least has many of the same neurological effects when it comes to dopamine and norepinephrine. I’m really interested to see the long term effects of the drug, and I definitely think that there will be some kind of litigation based on the adverse side effects of the drug when abused.

It’s efficacy in the long term is questionable

This drug is highly under regulated and overprescribed. I don’t want to put myself out of work because I’m in a ton of student loan debt, but I do think that people need to be more aware of the negative aspects of the drug.  Buuut, in the end if it isn’t me that supplies them with it, it will just be some other dick that probably prices gauges the shit out of them.

 

OTHER RESOURCES:

• Got Addy’s?
• Adderall

The post Adderall is Paying my Rent, Tuition, and Power Bills appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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1. Got Addys
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INGREDIENTS:

DIRECTIONS:

NO SMOKE

This means you don’t have to put a towel under the door and tamper with the smoke detectors in your room. You can just put some on your tongue and play the waiting game.

NO SMELL

The characteristic smell of pot is its most ostensible shortcoming. Because marijuana extract doesn’t require smoking, this characteristic is eliminated and therefore easier to use in a dormitory environment.

INCONSPICUOUS

Keeping marijuana extract in a butter tin almost guarantees the authorities will pass it over during a room search. However, if they find a baggy full of green leafy material they sure as hell know it isn’t oregano.

TWO BIRDS ONE STONE

Thirdly, you don’t have to smoke it. You can add it to food and other edibles. This makes it tasty, and in my opinion, more fun than actual smoking.  Plus, you are satisfying your munchies before you even have them.

The only real disadvantage of using marijuana extract is that it takes longer to kick in and it’s easier to over do.

WARNING:

Marijuana butter/oil should not be consumed in excess. It is much easier to overdose with marijuana extracts than actually marijuana. Try first taking a small teaspoon of the extract to gauge your tolerance.

Don’t be in imbecile. Don’t drive or operate heavy machinery while high. Be responsible, and don’t put yourself or others in danger. Make sure you are in a safe environment where the most dangerous thing around you is an entire cheesecake.Marijuana extract has many advantages over smokable marijuana….

DISCLAIMER:

The Campus Companion does not necessarily agree or endorse any of the opinions or fact presented in this article.

RESOURCES:

• Erowid

The post The Joys of Edible Marijuana appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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Here is the rubric break-down (given to me by the professor) for some of the papers I graded recently. Only 5 of 50 points were dedicated to “logic and reasoning”, 5 to “grammar and spelling“, and 5 to “format“.  The remaining 35 points were awarded automatically.

2) I LOOK YOU UP ON FACEBOOK

After I grade your papers I look you up on Facebook. ”Is this ethical?” one may ask. I answer yes. Why would it be unethical? I want to put a face to the paper, that way if I see you in a bar I know to stay away from your dumb ass.

3) DON’T WRITE A GOOGLE TOP TEN  PAPER

When I grade papers I type the subject of the project/paper into Google. The top ten results account for 79 % of the sources cited in a class’s bibliographies (I actually did this calculation). I give extra points to the students that do more than just Google the subject.  This shows at least a superior ability to conduct research.

4) YOUR GRAMMAR IS EMBARRASSING

This is your NATIVE TONGUE, you have spell / grammar check, and you have  3-4 weeks to write a paper. If you can’t compose a grammatically flawless paper based on those three characteristics you are an embarrassment to the English language.

5) DON’T BE IN THE “DYNAMIC DUO”

Without fail there is always a pairing of  two girls or two guys that print their papers out in class, fail to staple them, and turn them in laughing/giggling, probably because they are still drunk from the night before. They consistently earn themselves the worst grades in the class.

The sad thing is that in our nepotism driven capitalist society these students will probably get a better job out of college than I will out of grad school because their parents are CEOs at successful businesses. FML.

6) YEAH, I CARE ABOUT THE BIBLIOGRAPHY

When you turn in a paper with a bibliography that is a list of URLs I want to KILL myself.  You can make a bibliography in 5 minutes using Easybib.com.

Take the extra time to ACTUALLY construct real citations.  Even if a paper only has three sources it is unprofessional and lazy to toss URLs in your bibliography as your “sources.”  You are in college… grow-up and accept that there is a proper way of doing things.

7) THE FOREIGN EXCHANGE STUDENTS ARE SMARTER

If the foreign exchange student can get an A in the class, and you can’t, there is something wrong with you. Foreign exchange students don’t spend Tuesday night listening to Lady GaGa, binge drinking crappy beer, and talking about Jersey Shore. They actually STUDY. Learn from these other cultures, because unlike ours theirs are not decadently crumbling from the natural and inevitable effect of immoderate greatness.

8 ) I DON’T HAVE TO READ YOUR ENTIRE PAPER

As my teacher so candidly put it, “You don’t have to read their entire papers, just enough, reading all of it would take forever.”

Well, it’s nice to know that when I was an undergraduate my teachers took the time to read all of my hard work and provide constructive criticism. I guess that’s why they only underlined key words and jotted down arbitrary check marks. I guess I’ll just imitate them and make you think I’m grading just like my teachers did to me. Or was his TA grading his papers. This is fucked.

9) IF YOU WRITE A PAPER DRUNK / HIGH  WE KNOW IT

I don’t think I really have to explain this one.  So I will ask this, how would you feel if I graded your papers whilst drunk?  I warn you, I am a mean drunk when I am forced to suffer fools.

10) YOU’RE NOT DOING YOUR COUNTRY ANY FAVORS

Our feel good culture has created a backward education system where everyone must win and those that are great academically may not truly stand out from those who can hide their incompetence behind their “effort” grade.  Thank you USA for not allowing teachers to fail students, but the blame doesn’t all lay there.  Let’s move on to teachers…

Thank you, Professors, for sucking so horribly.  Admittedly this is probably because the system sucks, you’re paid too little, and tenure makes your lazy.  You might as well just give us a worksheet, put on Remember the Titans,  and tell us to decipher meaning out of the movie like they do in high school.

The post 10 Confessions Of A Frustrated TA appeared first on The Campus Companion.

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