Everyone has been in a situation before with that couple – the annoying couple. Maybe it’s that they’re disgustingly adorable together, or maybe it’s that they’re trying too hard to look like the perfectly picturesque couple. Whatever it is, it’s annoying and you just can’t sugarcoat it.
You find yourself not wanting to even hang out with this couple. You don’t want to go to group hangouts if they’re going to be there. You can’t stand one more minute watching them caress each other and stare into each others eyes smiling. You don’t want to go eat with them in fear that you won’t be able to keep your food down after watching them spoon feed each other all night. To them, they’re in love. To you and the rest of the world? They’re downright annoying.
If this sounds like you (I know you’ll never admit it, but deep down you know the truth), here are ways to not be that couple in public. Love the hell out of each other in private by all means. Hold hands on the way to class and kiss each other when you say goodbye – just know where the line is when you guys are hanging out with other people.
1. Don’t seclude yourselves at a party, or even at a small hangout.
If you guys made the choice to go hang with other people, then actually hang with these other people! Be social, that’s why you left the house isn’t it? Think of it as an opportunity to show each other off or impress each other even more. It’s always a turn-on for others to see with how social you are and how much people genuinely enjoy being around you.
2. Don’t invite one of your single friends to go somewhere with you guys if you want the night to be about yourselves.
This friend will think awful thoughts about what an asshole you are all night for inviting them to go. If you want it to be a date, make it just for the two of you. Or invite a fourth and give your friend an outlet to talk to someone else.
3. Don’t ask all your friends if they think that you’re cute together.
I’m sure you guys are adorable as most couples seem to be, but don’t ask people for their opinion. Let them think it in their heads, and let them envy you for it. Just don’t throw it in peoples faces that you’re in a relationship and they aren’t.
4. Don’t tell people old stories and memories about you guys.
Honestly, no one really cares about that kind of thing unless it’s a wedding toast or unless it’s universally hysterical (like if one of you pooped your pants on a date). Memories are for the people involved in them – they belong to you guys and no one else.
5. Don’t sign up for all the same classes together.
Chances are you aren’t even in the same major, so one or both of you will be wasting credits and tuition money by taking an unnecessary class. By all means be study buddies in the library together, but take the classes you need for yourself.
6. Don’t write on each other’s Facebook’s about how much you love each other.
No “I love you baby!” or “Xoxo!” or anything like that. Save the gush for birthday posts, or circumstantial times (example: studying abroad, vacation, etc.). There really isn’t ever a need to profess your love on Facebook due to handy cell phones anymore – just use your discretion. (Same goes for Twitter).
7. No hankypanky in front of your friends if it’s a small hang out!
If it’s a big party, everyone will be guilty of some sloppy PDA session. If it’s a little group of friends, it’s just nasty. You guys are there to hang out all together. No one wants to see you guys making out or teasing each other. It’s tacky.
It’s awesome to be in a great relationship where you are 100% completely happy. Keep in mind though that not everyone else around you is feeling that monogamous bliss – and they don’t want to see what you and your boo are putting out there. Being aware of your surroundings is really all you need to do in order to avoid being that couple.