Rage, frustration, tears. The slow and steady spread of anger that washes over you. The burning pain of the ulcers that develop as you attempt to contain your fury.
Yes, moving back in with your parents for the summer can be a very difficult adjustment. Suddenly all of the freedom you had at school is snatched away as you have to answer question after question: Where are you going? What are you going to be doing? When are you getting back? How are you getting back? When are you going to clean your room? Why haven’t you mowed the lawn yet?
Although it may not be easy, there are a few simple ways to attain a positive, or at least civil, relationship with your parents. The key is to show them that you are responsible and mature, or at least more mature than you were in high school. If you can interact with your parents in a somewhat calm and adult manner (or at least without storming out of the house, or giving them the silent treatment) you will definitely benefit in the long run.
If your parents ask you to do something for them, do it. Be polite and don’t act like them asking you to pick your sister up from school is equivalent to them asking you to take the Ring to Mordor. If you do what they ask you to and you are nice about it, then another time they might be more willing to listen if you explain to them why you are unable to do the favor they ask.
The key is acting mature. If you calmly explain that today you cannot clean the garage because you have a previous engagement you cannot cancel, but that you are willing to clean some of it on another day this week, you will likely get a positive response. If you don’t give your parents a reason to treat you like you are an obstinate child, then in all likelihood, they won’t.
It often isn’t hard to guess what your parents are going to demand from you. If your Dad usually asks you to do the dishes after dinner, don’t wait for him to ask. Offer to do it yourself, or simply start clearing the table when you’ve finished eating. I promise, if they usually have to get in a fight with you over such tasks, seeing you take the initiative without their prompting will blow them away, and you may be rewarded for it later.
If you are going out with your friends, tell your parents where you are going and what time you expect to be back before you even leave the house. Then send them a text at some point telling them where you are, or how soon you expect to be home. This will save you from the frustration of several annoying texts that are sure to come from your Mom at some point in the night. Plus, you get the bonus points of being responsible. Behavior like this will make your parents like you and trust you more, end of story.
Nothing warms a mother’s heart more than hearing her children express appreciation for her role as a mother. Now I am not saying that you have to write a letter to your mother or father detailing the exact measure of your love for them (in fact this might not be a good idea at all), but remember to occasionally thank them for things. For example, if your parents made dinner, thank them for cooking. If your Mom bought you that weird cereal that no one else in the house likes but you, thank her for it. This is another way to show your parents you’ve matured. Plus, if they think you appreciate how much work they put into raising you and paying for your education, they will pretty much just like you more.
Partake in Family Activities
Hanging out with friends in often more enjoyable than spending time with your family on almost every level. However, when it comes to family time, a little can go a long way. Even it if it’s just one time, choosing to stay at home and watch a movie or play a game with your family rather than going out with your friends will mean a lot. Believe it or not your parents probably miss you when you are at school, and would love to chance to spend more time with you. An act like this will show them that you do still love them, even though you don’t often show it.
This may seem simple, but it is quite meaningful to have conversations with your parents that don’t involve you simply nodding your head to everything they say. You don’t have to confide in them your latest girl/boy problems (although this is a great way to make them feel loved), but find something that you can talk about with them that makes it seem like you want to hear their opinion. If that is too painful, then simply tell them about a funny story or event. Sharing something with them, regardless of how meaningless it might seem to you, gives the impression that you care about them and you aren’t trying to exclude them from every aspect of your life (despite how true this may in fact be).