There is a time and place for everything, and there are few things better than the perfect song to compliment the moment. Here are seven situations you are more than likely to find yourself in this summer and the seven songs that fit those moments the best. Add these to your playlists, and watch your summer instantly improve.
For when you’re six shots in and the DJ refuses to play “Call Me Maybe” again:
Chromeo – Night By Night
It seems like Canada has been trying to compensate for something (read: Nickelback, Justin Beiber, and Sarah McLachlan of those hideously sad animal cruelty commercials) by making wildly addictive songs to dance to. While “Call Me Maybe” totally deserves a spot on this list after firmly establishing itself as college-girl kryptonite, Chromeo’s “Night by Night” takes the cake in overall musical redemption and ass-shakeability. It’s sexy, catchy, and wont ruin your music snob reputation if Spotify publishes it to your Facebook profile. Small victories, eh?
For when you get dumped but have maintained enough self respect to not play Adele:
Jack White – Love is Blindness
You aren’t too weak to succumb to “Someone Like You” but have not yet reached the Kelly Clarkson–strong stage of your breakup. Enter Jack White’s grinding U2 cover. The lyrics are sensitive yet the guitar and vocals are anything but. So go ahead. Put it on, turn it up, and cry it out as you drive past your ex’s house for the third time in the last hour. At least you wont be caught at the stop sign blaring Taylor Swift again.
For when you’re double fisting PBR tall boys and starting to exclusively shop at Goodwill:
Diarrhea Planet – Warm Ridin’
If you’re not wearing high waisted shorts that you purchased on Etsy paired with Litas and a bad attitude then you’re checking out an ombre-haired cutie who is, undoubtedly through your thick-rimmed, non-prescription glasses. Don’t spend all summer floating down the mainstream-lamestream, man. Turn up a band whose name you are too embarrassed to say out loud! At least that ensures that no one else will ever hear of them.
For when you’re drunk around a body of water:
Creedance Clearwater Revival – Fortunate Son
The beauty of this song is that, no matter how loud, how drunk, or how much of “that guy” you are being, no one can get mad when it’s playing. This song stands for the Red, White, and Blue. Bald eagles are probably trained to fly every time they hear John Fogerty’s voice. Wait, this isn’t a patriotic song? I’m sorry; I can’t actually hear the lyrics over the “MERICA” chants.
For when you want to incite a 90s sing-a-long power hour:
Smash Mouth – All Star
No music will unite a room of people together faster than 90s tunes. The best part about the 90s is that our generation’s brains were just fresh enough to be absorbing up all the lyrics like a pop-culture sponge. That’s right: you can blame science for not being able to forget every word to “Baby Got Back.” Other recommended choices would be TLC’s “Waterfall,” Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumping,” and the boy band classic from Hanson, “MMMBop.” Stay away from Barenaked Ladies’ “One Week,” however. Not even the guy who wrote it knows the words.
For when you’ve ingested multiple illegal substances:
Macro X Treekeeper – Welcome to Bohemia
A song best described as belonging to “that” part of YouTube where heinously talented but, um, unconventional talent hides is certain to be a great part of any experience you may have this summer, psychedelic or not. It’s wickedly creepy, and that’s what makes taking a trip to Bohemia so damn appealing. If it’s not your thing, then at least watch the video for tips on how to properly use the homemade glow stick goo you pinned last week to your “DIY Rave” Pinterest board.
For when you need to impress people at YouTube parties:
Jenny Owens Young – Hot In Herre
Remember Nelly? Remember “Hot in Herre?” Well here’s a video of a girl singing it in an igloo and partying with polar bears, penguins, and other snow-dwelling creatures. You didn’t know you needed this in your life until now, and you’re so welcome.