Being in a relationship is all about learning and growing as a person and as a duo. Being in a relationship in college is both exciting and difficult. The college environment is just plain different than the real world, and every relationship must adapt to these differences.
There are three major red flags when it comes to your relationship. If you avoid these red flags, someone will surely be hurt and things could end poorly.
1.) Lack of Trust
If there is no trust in your relationship, you are in trouble! As cheesy as it may sound, trust really IS everything. Trust is essential to every successful relationship, but it is the easiest problem to ignore. There a few ways to know when trust is lacking in the relationship.
Constantly Checking Phone/Social Networking Sites
Whether it is you doing the checking or your significant other, it is important to notice when it becomes excessive. College is very social environment and if you feel you need to monitor your text messages or social network accounts, you are no longer in a trusting relationship. It can be hard to let something like checking your phone be a make or break decision, but it is not something that will get better in time. Trust is vital, precious, and difficult to keep, but if it is there, you are on your way to a wonderful, healthy relationship.
If you go to the bars or a party and your significant other is constantly asking you about the people there, he/she is showing classic jealous behavior. It isn’t healthy to feel as though you are doing something wrong if you are talking to a friend who is of the opposite sex. Jealousy only comes from the fear something bad will happen, which indicates a lack of trust.
2.) Fighting Regularly
Every relationship will have fights, even really bad fights, but if it becomes a constant occurrence you need to start re-evaluating why you are fighting in the first place. The point of being in a relationship is to have fun, your significant other should be at the base of it all, your friend. Fighting all the time can be really hard on both parties and it may indicate something deeper is the problem.
3.) Desire For Something Else
If you or your partner are having strong feelings about someone else, or a strong desire to be single when you are away from each other, there is a problem. This may seem obvious, but when you are in a long term relationship it is hard to get out of it. There can be a long period of you wanting to be single, but it is really difficult to come to terms with breaking up. Be aware of how you are feeling and how your partner is acting and discuss what you two really want, now.
Tips For A Healthy College Relationship
1.) Have Similar Interests
Obviously you should want to be interested in the same things, but it is especially important in college. College life is all about school, clubs, extra-curriculars, sports, etc. and if you don’t have much in common it will be difficult to ignore. It could be something as simple as, he is in a Fraternity and you don’t like to drink at Fraternities. The truth of the matter is, that shouldn’t be a big problem, but it could lead to a lot of nights apart.
2.) Know Your Values
Always go into a new relationship knowing their values and your own. Make a list of a few things that are most important to you and hold true to your beliefs. Think of vital things, like religion, alcohol, or sex. You may be able to look past your value differences at first, but eventually disagreeing on important issues will become a constant source of arguments.
3.) Don’t Rush It!
This tip is SO essential in college. College is a time to have fun while also focusing on your future. At this age, things change constantly – your major, your dream job, etc. It is not a time to rush something that is dependent on all these other changes. A relationship is not a race to the aisle, stay away from the MRS degree and focus on yourself. You will have 20 plus years to think about everyone else, but now is the time to stay focused and have fun. If it is meant to be forever, it will be.
4.) Be Prepared For Game Changers
With internships, study abroad, and job placement, relationships in college are surely going to experience big changes. You need to be prepared for these changes, and get ready for how to deal with them.
5.) Be Spontaneous
This is important for any relationship! Never lose the spontaneous moments; they are what make relationships so fun and exciting. Have a random date night, or do something you’ve never done before. Doing these things will help keep the spark going in a stressful time. Try to keep up with your partner’s interest and surprise them. If they are a huge fan of baseball, grab some tickets to a game and go on a road trip! These kind of acts will be amazing for both of you. There is nothing better than seeing a huge smile on the face of someone you care about.
Relationships are fun, dramatic, exciting, emotional, and so much more. Whether they are amazing or not, they are worth it. You can learn so much about yourself and how to deal with others by being in a relationship. Try these tips to achieve a healthy relationship, but don’t ever stay in a relationship if you are not happy, because being happy is the primary goal, especially in college!