Music and Sex: The Peanut Butter and Jelly of Intimacy
Adding Music to Sex
So, here it is, music and sex go together as well as peanut butter and jelly. And let’s really be honest; peanut butter and jelly go together really, really well. People have probably been “getting it on” to their favorite jams since the days of the “Motet,” and this phenomenon of complement is not unfounded. Recent scientific discovery continues to uncover links between music, lowered blood-pressure, heightened libido and more. Most of this is likely attributed to what a recent neuroscience study uncovered, which is that music has the uncanny ability to produce a natural Dopamine high. You know what else does that? Sex! And, well, eating….But, eating and sex don’t go well together….seriously…..unless you are going to be executed and have very little time and many things to enjoy.
If you search the web, you will undoubtedly find that pretty much every major relationship and/or men’s and women’s magazines have devoted some of their time to address this combination. Here is why taking a few minutes to put together a playlist for your playtime should be at the top of your “To-Do” list.
Music is Powerful
Music is the x-factor; it is an enigma with the ability to make you happy, sad, aggressive, relaxed, and generally anything. That being true, it DEFINITELY has the ability to make people feel sexy. Everyone has heard some song and thought to themselves, “Daaaamn, this song would be hot to have sex to.” What it comes down to is that if one of the individual feels sexy, then their partner will as well, and in this way music can intensely boost the pleasure. It gives you confidence, gets you psyched, and ultimately prepares you to perform your best.
Takes Your Mind Away
Legendary Sex Therapist, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, speculates that music is bad while having sex because it inhibits individuals from developing the types of mental fantasies that enhance sex. Well, the evidence uncovered about dopamine should be enough of a counter-argument, but even further, not everyone is having sex with some partner they have spent years in love with. Sometimes, it is just a booty call, and often sex with a new partner can be highly cerebral the first few times, with each partner thinking too much. Music can help to take your mind away, allowing you to enjoy sex more fully.
Stave-Off Quality Fatigue
In manufacturing, quality fatigue is what happens when a worker has spent too long at one particular job and begins to make mistakes. In sex, quality fatigue applies in a similar way. Once you have been at it for a while, it can be easy to lose your rhythm, or worse. Music, as indicated by “The Player,” in his weekly column on AskMen.com, can be that vital factor that gives you the second wind you need to stay focused; much in the same way music while jogging can keep you going.
Associative Memory
Do it to certain songs enough, and certain songs can become associated with sex or your lover. Hear a song that warms you up while you are away from your partner, and the fantasizing will begin. Bring THESE fantasies home and Dr. Ruth will have nothing to stand on.
Experimentation with Atmosphere
Again, music has the ability to change the atmosphere instantaneously. If you get tired of the slow good loving you usually have with your partner, mix it up by playing music with a different feel.
Rhythm
Not everyone has perfect rhythm. So, there. But, simply put, rhythm can be a make or break factor when it comes to intercourse. Music can be the vital template needed to help keep the beat.
How To Make a Playlist
- Rule 1: Predefine the desired mood
- Rule 2: Avoid complex rhythms. 4/4 is good…9/8 is not….unless you are a musician and can handle that, ya show-off.
- Rule 3: Avoid cliches. The White Barry and Gaye Marvin have had their time, but now it is time to lay off.
- Rule 4: If you can, incorporate music both partners are familiar with
Playlist/Song Examples:
Casual Sex:Strive For “DownTempo,” but provocative hip-hop type beats.1 |
Slow and Sweet:Slow and Sweet is best for foreplay, switch to something a bit faster for intercourse to avoid getting bored. |
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General / Light Experimentation:Most rock is suitable, though a tempo slower than a quickie song is advisable. Good for trying new positions, but without getting rough.1 Latin rhythms are generally great for light experimentation as well. |
Quickie:Upbeat, alt and indie rock make for a great quickie. |
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Experimental or Playing Rougher
Heavier rock or punk can be just the stuff for more experimental encounters. 1
However, in my opinion, anything out of the ordinary with rapid heavy rhythms, or
that can inject a particular fantasy will work.
[sws_grey_box box_size="600"]SOURCES:
Bean, Matt. “Just Press Foreplay.” Men’s Health 4 Dec. 2006: n. pag. Web. 14 Feb. 2011. <Link>.
Chudnosky, Lisa. “Sensations Worth Surrendering To: Rhythmic Beats.” Cosmopolitan. N.p., n.d. Web. 14 Feb. 2011. <Link>.
Kelly, Maura. “Is Music During Sex Good or Bad? .” Marie Claire. N.p., 11 Aug. 2010. Web. 14 Feb. 2011. <Link>.
Munro, Margaret. “Music Produces a Natural High, McGill Study Finds : Neurotransmitter Dopamine is Released When Listening to Favorite Tunes.” Montreal Gazette. N.p., 11 Jan. 2011. Web. 14 Feb. 2011. <Link>
Player, The. “Set The Mood with Seductive Music.” AskMen: n. pag. Web. 14 Feb. 2011. <Link>. [/sws_grey_box]
Category: Dating / Sex, Featured, Sex
