You Know You’re A Science Major If (Part 1 of a Series)

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  Image Taken From Motifake.com

• You can focus a microscope in 20 seconds or less
• You tell people your major and they ask why you would do that to yourself
• You know what anthracene is
• Your girlfriend/boyfriend knows what anthracene is
• You think that Political “science” or Decision “sciences” majors are wannabes
• You feel the urge to strangle anyone who asks why water is polar at the end of the semester
• You’ve spent over $700 on textbooks in one semester alone
• Bill Nye the Science Guy was your favorite TV show growing up
• You make a long list of questions every time you go to see the professor
• You understand calculus, but you can’t remember how to do long division
• You’ve conducted some form of research
• You have a pet named after a scientist
• You’re in the Biology club
• You’re a member of Sigma Xi
• You inform people in other majors that their results aren’t statistically significant
• You can draw 2-acetoxybenzoic acid
• You mention a “blunt probe” and people look at you strangely
• You know what a “buckyball” is
• You’ve ever wondered what it would be like to travel through a wormhole
• You’ve used an entire 3-subject notebook for one subject
• You think invertebrates are way cooler than vertebrates
• You think plants are way cooler than people
• You’ve pondered how one might reach “absolute zero”
• You’ve actually used every function on your graphing calculator
• You’ve started and/or witnessed a fire in a laboratory
• You’ve blown something up
• You’ve prevented someone else from blowing something up
• You can extract your own DNA with a toothpick and dishwashing detergent
• You’ve always wanted to get married on the moon
• You have your own lab coat
• “In the hood” means something completely different to you than it does to most people
• You’ve been exposed to chemicals known to cause birth defects
• You’ve been exposed to carcinogens
• You’ve been inside a room marked with a “biohazard” or “radiation” sign
• You know what “DNA” actually stands for
• You can’t free-style rap without including “DNA” in the lyrics
• The words “Hardy-Weinberg” make you shudder
• You’ve actually tattooed a molecule or marine organism onto your body
• You’ve calculated “standard deviation” more than 20 times
• You can pronounce the ingredients on the back of everyday household items
• You can draw the chemical structure of ingredients on the back of everyday household items
• You know the probability of an asteroid hitting the Earth, and have several plans to stop said asteroid
• You’re jealous when someone says they “only” got 6 hours of sleep last night
• You’ve always wanted to travel to another world
• You’ve got a plan for how to communicate with the aliens you might encounter
• You laugh every time you tell people that “dihydrogen monoxide” is the most deadly chemical known to man and they believe you
• People have looked up from their work in the library when you’ve mentioned “back-side attacks”
• You’ve attempted to build a portal/gravity gun
• You know what a Saturn V rocket is, and you have a 1/100 scale model of one in your room
• You have more than 2 science books on your desk at any given time
• You can name just about every bone in the body
• “OH” makes you think of a hydroxy group, not “Ohio”
• You have holes in your clothes from when acid was spilled on them
• You’ve accidentally made Chlorine gas
• You invert a food item about 7 times when the package says “shake well”
• You know what Sulfur smells like
• You know the difference between “xylem” and “phloem”
• You can give other students a botanical tour of the campus
• You think rock formations are “awesome”
• You’ve ever referred to 1,000 years as “very short”
• You’ve taken a 300-level lab course or higher
• You’ve submitted a proposal for funding
• You regularly conduct “thought-experiments” that involve your least favorite professor
• You know the difference between “tendons” and “ligaments”
• You know the scientific name for the common fruit fly
• You know 5 or more scientific names by heart
• At least half of those names are for creatures that are extinct
• You have your own block of dry ice
• Your friends claim to be into “vinyl”, but you assure them that you’re way more into “vinyl” than they are
• You can sing at least one song related to science
• You know why “PCR” is fantastically amazing
• You know the “PCR” song
• You’re very much in need of a shave/haircut
• You feel bad for telling someone who gets on your nerves that electrons are, in fact, positively charged
• Your professor doesn’t curve grades
• Your professor is actually insane
• You know 3 or more science professors on a first-name basis
• You can calculate a trajectory
• Your boyfriend/girlfriend can calculate a trajectory
• You’ve considered being an evil genius
• You think in acronyms
• Your front license plate is blue and your rear license plate is red
• You strongly dislike astrologers
• “Hedgehog” is a protein to you, not an animal
• You use et al. regularly when writing papers
• Creationists pick fights with you
• You pick fights with Creationists
• You say “mills” in your everyday language
• You know how to measure the volume of an irregular object
• You keep a photo of Marie Curie over your desk –and it turns you on
• You know what “NASA” stands for
• You’d like to work for NASA
• You have worked for NASA
• Your favorite part of the day is when you get to go to bed
• You know the four different stages of sleep deprivation
• You’re good at diluting things
• You prefer to measure small things in “angstroms”
• You know the symbol for “angstroms”
• People often can’t pronounce your major
• Your cat’s name is Schrödinger
• You check the meniscus when measuring liquids in the kitchen
• You refer to your kids as “the F1’s”
• Family members have no idea what you actually “do” in your classes
• You know pi to at least 4 decimal places
• You go to the beach, and all you can think about is how many types of rays are hitting you
• You’ve used kimwipes as kleenex
• Your DJ name is “MC Delta-T”
• You know what the “Drake Equation” is, and you can use it
• You know the exact speed of light in miles per hour and in kilometers per hour
• You know how long it takes said light to reach the earth from the sun
• You can actually give the distance between the earth and the sun
• You know over half the Greek alphabet, but you can’t speak Greek
• You have at least one notebook filled with drawings of “cleavage”
• You’ve ever told someone that they’re “made of starstuff”
• You know the difference between a comet and an asteroid
• You stay up all night just to watch a meteor shower
• You’ve memorized the SyFy channel number
• You have beakers in your kitchen
• You bring observation equipment on your vacations
• You go into the common room to take a break from studying, only to see molecules drawn all over the board
• You use one hand to unscrew the lids of everyday items
• You’ve stopped yourself from cooking something when you realize that you don’t have enough of a “limiting reagent” to make the recipe.
• You’ve used mathematical ratios to adjust the ingredient proportions to accommodate said limiting reagent.
• You know why a “cell” is called a “cell”
• You’ve sent an email to Stephen Hawking, which he didn’t answer
• You know what the “Orion Project” was, and you wish someone would attempt it because that would be cool
• “Twinkle, twinkle, little star” always bothered you
• You’re taking at least 2 science courses at the same time, with labs
• You want to take anyone who doesn’t “believe in” evolution and stick them in your biology lecture
• You’ve only met one other person with your exact major
• You know that in some chemical reactions, “HO’s” come before “Bro’s”
• You know the difference between “accuracy” and “precision”
• You’ve drawn chemical structures on your wall when you ran out of paper
• You think of cleaning your room as “decreasing entropy”
• You use parafilm instead of saran wrap
• You’ve been in a debate over whether Pluto is a planet
• You’ve dissected small animals several times
• You’ve returned to your dorm room reeking of formaldehyde
• You’ve used up an entire packet of pencils in one semester
• Your pencil sharpener has gone dull after only two semesters of use
• You have/had a crush on Rosalind Franklin
• You’re really tired of calculating molar mass
• You’ve kept all your textbooks because you’ll end up needing them again
• You can’t watch a TV show or movie without noticing inconsistencies and mistakes in the science/medical procedure
• You can draw a perfect pentagon or hexagon with ease
• You can tell whether a beaker is made of pyrex
• When someone mentions a new style of “jeans”, you want to calculate their frequency in the student population
• You know the pathway of blood through the heart… by heart!
• You cringe when people think that “all natural” or “organic” means something is healthy
• You wonder if anyone actually knows what “electrolytes” and “free radicals” even are when they talk about them
• You’ve purchased your own pair of lab goggles
• You think using million-dollar equipment just to test a hunch is perfectly practical
• You want to visit the hadron collider
• You know what hadrons are
• You laugh every time the professor talks about ethanol
• You know that alcohol is not the answer… unless the question is “what happens when you hydrate an alkene with a concentrated sulfuric acid catalyst?”
• You have a favorite microorganism
• You know how a lava lamp works
• You draw punnett squares when discussing future children with your significant other
• You built a “baking soda and vinegar” volcano during your childhood
• You hate it when people say “baking soda” instead of “sodium bicarbonate”
• You always make a mental note of where the nearest fire extinguisher is
• You feel strange when not wearing closed-toed shoes
• You’ve had a class where half the students dropped out within the first two weeks
• You were nodding and laughing while reading this list
• You’ve already started calculating the percentage of these statements that relate to you
• You’ve written a list like this

Feel free to add to the list!

Tags: major, majors, science

Category: Academics, Majors, Random